Christmas is a Time
by XTsukimiOdangoX
Summary: If Eiri is the only thing Shuichi wants for Christmas, then why does he insist the writer be with his family? Will the song Shuichi dedicates to Eiri bring the writer back in time for the holidays? After all, Christmas is a time to be with those you love.
1. All I Want For Christmas is Yuki

**Author's Notes**: Weee! A Gravitation Christmas story!! I just came up with this idea yesterday (12-3-03) and decided to start as soon as possible in order to get it out before Christmas. This is going to have three chapters. ^_^ I hope everyone enjoys it!!

**Christmas is a Time…**

**Chapter 1: All I Want for Christmas is Yuki**

            Eiri groaned into his pillow and pushed himself deeper into the bed. It was decided – waking up to a backrub was quite possibly the most wonderful thing in the world.

            "You like that?" came the giggling reply behind the pleased blonde. Shuichi smiled warmly.

            "Mmmr…" Eiri purred back. Had it been anyone else, the aloof novelist would have shoved them off and flung a string of insults their way. However, this was Shindou Shuichi, and recently Eiri had become more and more open towards his pink haired lover.

            "Good." Shuichi pressed his thumbs under the blonde's shoulder blades causing him to arch and whimper slightly. "Does that hurt?" he questioned, only slightly worried.

            "No," the older man mumbled back. He rolled his shoulders a bit. "Feels'nice…"

            Shuichi giggled softly at his still half-asleep lover. He shifted slightly from his straddled position over Eiri's waist. Pink locks fell into purple eyes as Shuichi leaned down and kissed his lover's shoulder.

            "Are you ready to get up now?" Shuichi asked, covering Eiri's right shoulder in kisses. Eiri drew in a slow breath and let it out even slower.

            "Not yet…" He took another deliberate breath. "And as much as I like this, I am extremely tired." The writer's garbled voice only furthered his confession.       

            Shuichi smiled against the older man's shoulder. He moved over to kiss the left one. Eiri hummed a little tuneless note in the back of his throat. Shuichi snuggled against the golden-haired man's back. Eiri smiled lazily.

            "Are you _sure you're not ready to get up now?" the singer pressed. _

            "Yes," Eiri answered back as snappily as possibly for someone who was still partially asleep and loving every second of it. "And if you ask me that again, I'll smack you."

            "At least it will get you up," Shuichi replied, thoroughly proud of himself. "Besides…" He sat up again to rest his weight on the small of Eiri's back. He was beginning to whine a bit. "I took the day off to spend time with you, and it's already eleven o'clock. The least you could do is get out of bed and keep me company."

            "I never asked you to stay home," Eiri grumbled. He wrapped his arms around his pillow, hoping to fall back asleep. Every word Shuichi spoke woke him up more and more. 

            "Yuki!!" Shuichi cried, appalled. "But tomorrow's Christmas Eve!! And I have the concert with NG Productions! I won't be home till ten tomorrow night! I want to be able to spend time with you _today!"_

            "Uggghh…" Eiri groaned. He was beginning to get genuinely annoyed. "You'll be with me on Christmas morning, you damn brat."

            "But, you promised we'd buy a tree today, Yuki! A real fir tree!!" The lead singer of Bad Luck was whining in all his glory now. After all, Eiri _had promised… And Shuichi's sister was allergic to real trees, so this would be his first year with the real McCoy. _

            "It's only eleven!" Eiri snapped. He had refused to open his eyes lest Shuichi use that as ammunition that the writer was awake enough. Even though Eiri was very much alert now, there was no way he was giving up this fight without winning it. "We'll get a tree later!" he continued.

            Shuichi began to bounce slightly, causing a slightly odd situation for Eiri. "But, Yuki!!" The boy was desperate. "All the trees will be gone by then!!"

            "Tough."

            Shuichi blinked and his mouth hung. Tough? _Tough?! Oh no, no, there was __NO way Shuichi was giving up this fight without winning it._

            "Yuki…" Shuichi began lowly, in an unusually threatening voice. "We can do this the easy way…" he began, trailing his fingers softly down his lover's spine, causing a slight shudder, "or we can do this the hard way." He dragged his nails down Eiri's back soft enough for it not to truly hurt, but hard enough to prove his point.

            "You know," Eiri drawled, cracking open one eye. He glanced a golden-iris back to glare slyly at his vehement lover, lifting his head off the pillow a few inches. "That actually felt kind of good. Could you do it again?" 

            Shuichi growled from somewhere deep in his throat. He subconsciously dug his nails deeper into Eiri's back in anger. 

            _OK, that one hurt… Eiri whimpered mentally. _

            "Uesugi Eiri…" 

            Eiri blinked. Surely Shuichi did not just call him what he thought he did… Did he?

            "Don't make me do _you-know-what_."

            Both of Eiri's eyes were open now. Wide open.

            Now, Shuichi had threatened many a time to do "_you-know-what_", but rarely was able to go through with it. However, Shuichi did have the upper hand, being straddled across Eiri's back and all… Plus… Eiri gulped. Plus Shuichi had called him by his real name.

            It was one of the few things that actually scared Eiri.

            "You wouldn't dare," Eiri tried, voice hitching slightly. He propped himself up on his elbows and craned his head back. Shuichi was glaring down at him, a manic smile on his lips. Eiri nearly face-faulted. "You _wouldn't!!"_

            "Oh, I _would…" Shuichi leaned down closer to Eiri's terrified face to further his point. "Would you like to press me, Mr. Uesugi?"_

            Eiri gulped again. Surely this was just a joke…

            The writer took a deep breath, regaining his composure. With considerable resolve, he glared defiantly back at the boy that held him in such a predicament.

            "You just go ahead and try it."

            Those seven words were all Shuichi needed to push him over the edge, kicking and screaming. Or, more accurately, pushed Shuichi over the edge, causing _Eiri to start kicking and screaming._

            Before Eiri could even blink Shuichi's fingers were ruthlessly attacking his ribs. Now, as if being ticklish wasn't bad enough for tarnishing Eiri's rough demeanor – he also would laugh so hard it made him cry. However, if done right (and Shuichi knew how to do it right) the tickling could be delivered in just the right spot with just the right pressure… And that spot was Eiri's ear, with just enough of a bite to make it only slightly painful… and _highly arousing._

            Just as Eiri began to squirm unceremoniously under the scrutiny of his lover's attack on his ribs, he felt hot breath against his ear. Had he had time to freeze, Eiri would have. However, the tickling on his torso pursued, and no matter how much he thrashed about, Shuichi's lips and tongue found the writer's ear.

            "AHH!!"

            Shuichi was thrown back to land at the very foot of the bed on his rear. Despite the blow to his stomach that caused him to be tossed backwards, he was laughing – and quite hard, at that.

            Eiri was sitting up fully now, facing his giggling and insane lover. The writer's legs were sprawled out in front of him and the sheets were thrown all across the bed. Eiri's tousled hair fell into equally golden, yet extraordinarily wide, eyes. His trembling hands clasped at his offended ear in horror as the tears from his attack dried on his cheeks.

            Shuichi's laughter stopped after a moment. He arched an eyebrow and lowered his lids just the slightest. A crafty smile graced his lips.    

            "Well, you're up," he pointed out. His eyes traveled downwards. Then, again. "You're _up_," he repeated.

            Eiri's eyes swooped down quickly to the aforementioned bulge in his boxers. He quickly snapped his wide eyes back to his smirking lover. He furrowed his brow, still completely horrified.

            "Well, that's what happens when you bite my ear!!" Eiri cried. He shifted uncomfortably and rubbed away the drying tears off his flushed cheeks. "Ya damn brat…" he muttered, thoroughly embarrassed.

            "You know…" Shuichi crawled over to Eiri on all fours. The latter tensed. "You're awfully cute when you blush." 

            "Shut up," Eiri snapped, adverting his eyes. He felt his cheeks grow hotter.

            Shuichi giggled. "I did get you to wake up, though, didn't I?" He leaned over and pecked Eiri's flushed face. The taste of salty tears lingered on the singer's lips.

            Eiri harrumphed. He mentally shook himself to clear his jumbled thoughts and briskly stood from the bed. Shuichi watched him in amusement. Eiri's moves were stiff and inhibited by a certain swelling.

            The blonde frowned down at himself.  He sighed and rolled his eyes. He glanced out of the corner of his eye at the smiling Shuichi and thinned his lips.

            "I'm going to take a shower," he offered lowly in a mixture of exasperation and annoyance. 

            As Eiri slowly trudged out of the bedroom Shuichi giggled and called after him: "Make it a cold one!!"

            Eiri finished buckling his belt as he scuffled en route for the living room. The sound of Christmas music drifting from the radio gradually became louder as Eiri made his way through the archway separating the hallway and the living room. Never being one to get into the Christmas spirit, he found it incredibly odd at how upbeat he had become from listening to the carols while getting dressed.

            As he neared the couch he saw Shuichi sitting on the counter of the adjoined kitchen. His eyes were closed and a peaceful smile graced his lips. The radio sat next to him, serenading him. Eiri couldn't help but smile as well.

            "Hey," the writer called over the music. He redirected himself to the kitchen.

            Shuichi slowly cracked open his eyes. His smile spread. He waved in such an adorable matter Eiri could feel his heart flutter. He promptly blamed it on the music and swore to never listen to it again.

            The older man soon found himself facing the counter, his hips pressed up against it. Shuichi's legs were on either side of him. The pink haired man slipped his arms around his lover's neck.

            "Hi there," he cooed, nearly drowned out by the radio DJ introducing the next song.

            "Did you eat yet?" Eiri asked after he placed a small kiss on the singer's lips. He noted that the boy was already dressed in faded blue jeans and a baggy orange sweatshirt. He probably wanted to get to shopping for a tree as soon as possible.

            "No," came the unexpected reply. Eiri arched an eyebrow. Shuichi smiled. "I'm not hungry. Too excited I guess." Eiri failed to see how something as simple as buying a Christmas tree was so wonderful. Hell, he hadn't bought one in a good six years.

            Shuichi reached behind him and pulled out a coffee mug. "I did make you coffee, though." He pushed the mug to the writer proudly. Eiri smiled in thanks.

            Eiri drank the hot caffeine-laced drink slowly, relishing in the heat it caused down his throat. However, the heat he was welcoming the most was that of Shuichi's lithe frame pressed up against his own. The boy's legs were wrapped softly about the novelist's waist and his head lay on Eiri's shoulder. Shuichi's fingers played with the hem of Eiri's navy turtleneck at the small of his back. Eiri's free arm was rubbing up and down his lover's back.

They sat quietly, neither daring to say a word to ruin the moment. The only sounds were those of the Halleluiah Chorus from the radio and Eiri's intake of the coffee. Eiri's heart thrummed almost inaudibly against Shuichi's ear. They both breathed in time. As the song finished Shuichi stirred slightly.

"Yuki…?" the younger man whispered apprehensively. Eiri mumbled back a small nonsense syllable. Shuichi smiled drowsily. "Can we cuddle like this for a bit longer?"

Eiri opened his mouth to speak, but it took him three tries before the words began to flow. "I wasn't stopping you." He took another sip of the coffee. Half the mug was done. "But don't you want to go get the tree soon?"

"Yeah." Shuichi's smile turned into a small pout. "But I want to stay like this for a bit longer."

"Fine." Eiri tightened his hold on the small boy subconsciously. "But if there are no trees left, it's your fault."

Shuichi sighed softly. He nuzzled against his lover. "Then I'll just stay like this until you finish your coffee.

Eiri had never drunken his coffee so slowly in his life.

Eiri reluctantly placed his coffee mug down on the table. The soft click of ceramic hitting marble caused Shuichi to crack open his eyelids. Glazed purple irises look about slowly. He closed his eyes again and inhaled gradually. Eiri kissed the top of his lover's pink head. The boy pulled back languidly. 

"You ready to go?" Eiri asked, not fully caring – he was too busy missing the warmth of Shuichi's body against his. The DJ came back on as Sleigh Ride ended. 

"Yep." Shuichi tossed his neck from side to side and stretched him arms up. "All set."

Eiri stepped back from the counter and let the singer hop down. Just as he did the next song on the radio started. Eiri was about to lean over to shut it off when he saw Shuichi's ears perk up. 

Before the novelist could ask, Shuichi was at the radio, promptly turning it up. Eiri strained to pick up which song it was.

"Wha—"

"Shh!!" Shuichi hushed, waving his hands about to silence his lover. "I love this song!"

Eiri blinked as the voice of a female began to sing. He arched his eyebrows. Shuichi giggled and posed his most innocent stance – feet together, spine straight, hands pressed together in front of his chest in prayer, and eyes closed, with a little smile playing on his lips. Eiri braced himself for the signing he knew would soon follow

"I don't want a lot for Christmas," Shuichi sang in time with the singer, placing a soft tremolo on the "I". "There is just one thing I need / I don't care about the presents / Underneath the Christmas tree." He opened his eyes and his smile spread as he bit back a laugh. "I just want you for my own," his smooth voice rang out in a slow melody. "More then you could ever know / Make my wish come true." He placed undulating embellishments on the last word. "All I want for Christmas…" – a slow ritard – "is…" – another tremor – "you!"

Eiri blinked as Shuichi pointed a dainty finger at him. The music quickly picked up pace and Shuichi bobbed in rhythm. 

"I don't want a lot for Christmas," he repeated, much more energetic this time. "There is just one thing I need." The background singers from the radio sang a little hushed "And I…" Shuichi picked up again. "Don't care about the presents / Underneath the Christmas tree." Shuichi took a step forward, smile still clearly evident. "I don't need to hang my stocking / There upon the fire place / Santa Clause won't make me happy / With a toy on Christmas day." He shook his finger in Eiri's smirking face. "I just want you for my own / More then you could ever know / Make my wish come true / All I want for Christmas is you…!" 

Eiri could no longer hold back the small bubble of laughter. He watched in amusement as Shuichi danced around him. Eiri turned to keep his eyes on his lover. The singer had his back to the older man and, knowing this, shook his rear to the beat of the music. Eiri laughed again and Shuichi giggled, spinning around.

"I won't ask for much this Christmas," he continued. Eiri felt like melting in the brassy tenor of the younger man's voice. "I won't even wish for snow!" Shuichi shook his head to the words. The chorus did a little "And I…" again. "Just wanna keep my baby / Underneath the mistletoe." He quickly leaned up and pecked Eiri on the lips. "I won't make a list and send it / To the North Pole for Saint Nick." He backed up and spun around, walking in time over to the living room. "I won't even stay awake / To hear those magic reindeer click!" 

Eiri was following behind Shuichi in delight. Shuichi was smirking deviously at him.

"Cuz I just want you here tonight." Shuichi wrapped his arms about himself and shook back and forth. "Holding on to me so tight / What more can I do?" He shrugged and reached out for Eiri, who without delay took the singing boy's hands. "All I want for Christmas is you." He carried out the word "you" deliciously and the chorus added a small "Ooooh, baby."

The beats of the song grew more deliberate, which Shuichi took as a good signal to tease the blonde before him some more. He pulled away from Eiri's hands and walked backwards towards the archway leading to the hall. 

"Ooh! The lights are shining / So brightly everywhere!" Shuichi closed his eyes and sang with cheesy enthusiasm. "And the sound of children's / Laughter fills the air! / And everyone is singing / I hear those sleigh bells ringing!" Shuichi leaned his back against the arch, giving Eiri a profile view. "Santa won't you bring me the one I really need," he sang, rubbing up and down the wall, "Won't you please bring my baby to me?" 

Eiri was laughing softly so as to not upstage his singing boyfriend, but couldn't hold it back anymore once Shuichi tried to hit the high notes the female singer from the radio had placed on "me" and missed terribly. The boy stuck his tongue out and shrugged, quickly resuming his show.

"Oh," he began again, dipping his voice down lusciously, "I don't want a lot for Christmas / This is all I'm asking for," Shuichi sang as he walked backwards down the hallway. He posed himself in the doorway of their bedroom. Eiri had stopped laughing, and was prowling close behind. "I just wanna see my baby / Standing right outside my door." Shuichi timed it perfectly so that the second he stepped into the bedroom Eiri was right outside the doorframe. Both men chuckled. 

Shuichi leaned up and danced his fingers across Eiri's collarbone and then drifted backwards. The older man growled playfully. "Oooh, I just want you for my own / More then you could ever know." The radio was barely audible from inside the bedroom, but Shuichi continued to sign over it. Eiri had no complaints. "Make my wish come true / Oh baby, all I want for Christmas…" He slowed down considerably. "Is…" His husky voice swooped low and made rich little trimmings to the note. "Y—"

Shuichi squealed in surprise as he was cut off by Eiri's lips pressing hungrily against his own. The faint drift of the note Shuichi was cut off from floated in quietly from the radio. Both men were almost unable to continue the kiss because they were suppressing their giggles (And if you ever tell anyone Eiri was giggling, he'll kill you). Shuichi did, however, succeed in wrapping his arms about his lover's neck and the latter nibbled softly on the boy's smiling lips. A small moan was caught in the back of Shuichi's throat.

"Yuki…" the pink haired man whimpered softly. He could feel his voice box melting into his throat with the sheer bliss of Eiri's lips against his neck.

The blonde paused from flicking his tongue across the boy's jugular. "Mmm… I should probably stop, shouldn't I?" He pulled away. Shuichi pouted. "You do want to get the tree, don't you?" He exhaled sharply in mirth as Shuichi's face brightened and he nodded his head wildly. 

Eiri pecked Shuichi quickly on the lips and led him out of the bed room. He prodded the boy to go get his coat and get his shoes on and that Eiri would be waiting for him down in the parking garage, warming up the car. Shuichi assured the novelist he would and waved for the brief parting as he danced down the hall.

Eiri drummed his gloved fingers against the black leather steering wheel with one hand as he put out his cigarette with the other. He exhaled the last puff of smoke and watched as it drifted out the small crack he left open in the window. He pressed a silvery button to order the window to roll back up and then turned the dial to up the heat.

Eiri slid his eyes to his right as he saw Shuichi a mere two feet away from the car. A few seconds later and the boy was opening the door and sliding inside on the cool leather seats. He flinched and closed the door behind him.

"Leather interior – not good for the cold weather," the boy reprimanded as he tugged on his seatbelt with mitten-clad hands. 

Eiri rolled his eyes and revved up the engine. He mumbled back something akin to "whatever" and shifted into the reverse gear. Shuichi watched his right hand direct the shift stick in the American car as Eiri pulled out of the parking space and drove into the frozen city streets.

Most of the car ride was in silence. Eiri finally got tired of listening to his keys jingle in the ignition and the click of him shifting drives. He cleared his throat, gaining Shuichi's full attention.

"Did you mean it?" Eiri asked, keeping his eyes on the road.

Shuichi lifted a curious eyebrow. "Mean what?"

"That I'm all you want for Christmas," the writer responded as if what he had been asking was complete common sense and how could someone be such an idiot as to not realize that? 

Shuichi giggled. "Of course." He leaned over in his seat and brushed his lips against Eiri's cheek. 

His golden eyes slid over to his bundled up lover when he reach a red light. He noted the red and black striped mittens that covered the boy's hands. A matching scarf was draped out his neck, and a beanie of the same pattern adorned his head. Little pink tufts of hair poked out from underneath the hat and hung over his shimmering eyes. He was wearing a simple denim jacket over his sweatshirt, and the bottoms of his jeans were tucked into black combat boots. In a word: adorable. Eiri smiled.

Shuichi leaned back in his seat comfortably. He caught Eiri's glance. "Did you doubt me?" he questioned, misunderstanding the older man's gaze. 

Eiri swung his eyes back to the road as the light changed green. He shook his head and pressed the accelerator. 

"Well, you shouldn't" Shuichi continued, just incase. "Because it's true." He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "This is my first Christmas with you, Yuki. That's good enough for me."

Eiri could have sworn he felt his heart swell. He swallowed hard and glared at the license plate of the car in front of him. A moment of silence passed.

"Did you get me something?" 

Eiri smirked. "I though you said I'm all you wanted." He threw a sly glance the singer's way.

Shuichi pouted. "Well, yeah. You are. But it'd still be _nice…_"

"Did _you get _me_ something?" the novelist questioned the second Shuichi's voice began to drift off. _

The boy perked and smiled. "Yep!!" His smile quickly faltered. "But… I don't think you'll like it…"

Shuichi purred softly as Eiri's leather gloved fingertips reached out and rubbed the back of his neck. He leaned into the affection until Eiri pulled away a moment later.

"If it's from you," the blonde began, not sure whether he should really finish the sentence or not, "then I'll like it."

Shuichi brightened immediately. "You're the greatest, Yuki!!" he cried, just barely able to resist the urge to throw his arms around the other man.

"So…" Eiri turned a corner and shrugged one shoulder. "What is it exactly you want from me for Christmas? I mean – like you said, it's our first Christmas, and I'm not one who usually celebrates the sap. What are you expecting from me here?"

"Hmmm…" Shuichi chewed at the inside of his cheek thoughtfully. He slumped in his seat. "I guess… Well, I'd like you to drive me home from the concert tomorrow night, and then… Maybe we could have some dinner… And then maybe we could cuddle up on the couch and have some drinks." Shuichi was looking down at his hands now, eyes slightly wide and his cheeks red. "And then maybe…" He drifted off and glanced over at the older man.

Eiri caught the gaze out of his peripheral vision. "And then?" he prodded.

The writer soon found a hand pressed down on his mid-thigh, supporting the weight of a man three years his junior as the boy leaned over and breathed against his ear. Eiri stiffened.

"And then…" Shuichi whispered huskily, "I could have you…" The hand on Eiri's thigh moved upwards a great deal. "Submissively."

Any bystander would have thought up a million ideas for why a neighboring car had just jerked completely out of it's lane and back in again – but probably none of them were correct.

Back inside the car, Shuichi was in his seat again, head thrown back in howls of laughter. Eiri was leaning forward, gripping the steering wheel with all his might, eyes wide and breath ragged. He whipped his head to the laughing man, horrified and seething.

"Don't do that!!" he screeched. "Especially while I'm driving!!" 

"Keep your eyes on the road, Yuki!" the boy reprimanded jokingly through bouts of laughter. He bawled harder. "You should have seen your face!!"

"That's it!!" Eiri hollered, straightening himself. "No Christmas tree for you!!"

"WHAT?! _YUKI!_"

"No way," Eiri grumbled. He frowned heavily. "Enough is enough. I never agreed for you to even _move-in and now you're _decorating_ my house!!"_

There was no response.

Eiri blinked. He turned to the quiet Shuichi, expecting him to be wearing his best puppy dog face, ears, tail, paws, and all. Instead the sight that met the curious blonde was that of the boy staring out his window sadly, tears brimming in his eyes. He was biting down harshly on his bottom lip and his fists were clenched tight in his lap. His shoulders were hunched up and he was shaking. Eiri watched in shocked dismay.

"Shuichi…"

The said boy tensed. He hung his head to try to hide his face from his lover. "Yeah…?" Despite how hard he tried, the response came out in a crack. He flinched.

The car hummed softly, nearly drowning out Eiri's low voice. "It means that much to you, doesn't it…?"

Shuichi sniffed, and when that didn't work he rubbed at his cold nose. He shook his head quickly. "It's ok, Yuki…" His voice was still cracking no matter how hard he was trying not to cry. "I'm sorry."

"You know what?" Eiri changed gears and the car lurched a bit. Shuichi dared not question the sudden park. "We're here."

The singer blinked and lifted his head up. After a delayed moment he whipped his head to Eiri. The man was smiling softly at him, and in the background, across the street, was a store to buy holiday decorations. Fir trees decorated the outside of the store. Shuichi gasped.

"Yuki…"

Eiri looked away and sighed, not able to erase his smile. "I don't know why it matters so much to you… But I guess it wouldn't hurt, huh?"

There were some things about Shuichi that marveled the writer. Despite his wide range of knowledge that came with his books, he knew there would be things about the man he shared his home with he would never completely understand. Shuichi's ability to switch moods in an instant was one of them.

Eiri soon found the young man thrown against him, regardless of the inhibitions of Shuichi's seatbelt. A loud "YUKI!! I LOVE YOU!!" could be heard from not only outside the car, but inside the store across the street as well. And a "DON'T MAKE ME TURN THIS CAR AROUND!!" was the hollered reply.

An hour and a half later Eiri was sprawled out on his back on the cold wood floor of his living room. He stared up with dull eyes at the high ceiling. A few feet away stood a six and a half foot tall fir tree that had the audacity to shed all over the novelist's clean floor.

"Hey, Yuki?"

"Shut up," he snapped. "I'm mad at you."

"Yuki…"

Eiri made a low screech deep in his throat. "God, you got the damn tree from me, what more do you want?"

A pair of worried and upside-down purple eyes blocked Eiri's view of the ceiling. He frowned. Shuichi pouted and leaned down so his nose was against Eiri's forehead. The writer arched an eyebrow.

"You know, I have rule," he began, voice sour, "if you're close enough that the person's eyes look like one giant eye, then your eyes should be closed and your mouths open."

Shuichi giggled. He pulled away and crawled around so that he was facing his lover. A moment later had the smaller man straddled over Eiri's waist. The writer tried to act less then pleased. 

"Are you _really mad at me?" Shuichi questioned, leaning down to kiss the tip of his lover's nose. _

Eiri was contemplating on lying. That is, until he felt the vocalist nuzzling up against him and his little pink head rubbing up under Eiri's chin. Feathery kisses danced along and jaw. Eiri swallowed hard.

"No," he groaned, not wanting to have to admit it. "I _did_ promise you…" He craned his neck the other way in order to give Shuichi more access. He felt the neck to his shirt get pulled down. "And it's not that big of a deal, I suppose."

"So," Shuichi mumbled, "you don't regret it?" He flicked his tongue over Eiri's Adam's apple. 

"No," the blonde responded weakly. He sighed. "But, I'm sure I will after I have to clean this mess up," he finished, referring to the bag of decorations for the tree scattered on the floor and the shedding tree. Eiri was thoroughly surprised he was able to get out a comprehensive idea with the way Shuichi was nipping and suckling his neck. 

"Can I ask you another question?" Shuichi tried, leaning up from his place at Eiri's collarbone.

Eiri frowned at the loss. "Only if after I answer you can continue with what you were just doing."

Shuichi winked. "Can we move this to the bedroom?"

Eiri took a long drag from his cigarette and held it a moment. Shuichi rolled over on the bed onto his back. He reached a hand down and pulled the blankets up higher against his naked frame. Eiri let a slow breath out. Shuichi glanced over to his lover that was sitting up on the bed, enjoying his after sex cigarette. 

"Mmm, Yuki?" Shuichi cuddled up deeper in the bed. He followed the puff of smoke that swirled in the air. "What time is it?"

Eiri sucked in a deliberate breath and held it again. He reached out for the nightstand to pull off the watch that had been discarded there earlier. Eiri had a pet peeve with unnecessary articles of clothing or the like getting in the way of his performance.

"Ten to four," the novelist replied, finally letting his breath go. 

Shuichi was momentarily distracted from the snake of smoke that slithered past the older man's lips. After a dazed moment he blinked.

"Ten to four?" he whined. He sat up slowly, holding the sheets close. Thank God for heaters in thirty degree weather… "Ten to four?" The singer repeated again. Eiri slid a sideways-glance at him. "The day's almost over!"

"You're very perceptive." Eiri put out his cigarette on the back of his hand. It always amazed Shuichi at how the blonde was able to do that without burning himself. "What's your point?" 

The writer flicked the butt blindly and in landed square in the garbage pail. _That must have taken years of practice…_ Shuichi thought in awe, even though he had seen Eiri do the same trick many times.

"Well, I'm just sad, is all," the boy began, fully sitting up now. He shifted closer to Eiri, who's blankets were pooled around his waist. The singer absentmindedly wondered why Eiri wasn't cold. 

"So you think the whole day was just a waste?" Eiri drawled, feelings only _slightly hurt._

"What?" Shuichi pulled on the novelist's arm. "No! That's not it at all! I'm just upset that we had such a wonderful day and I won't be able to spend that much time like this with you tomorrow!"

Eiri arched an eyebrow and leaned his head back against the headboard of the bed. He passed a questioning glance to the boy occupying his bed along with him. Shuichi frowned.

"The concert?" he offered, trying to jog Eiri's memory. "I have the Christmas concert tomorrow with all the bands from NG Productions." He paused. "You said you'd come."

_Strike one._

Eiri stared up to the ceiling thoughtfully. Realization soon began to dawn on his pale features. "Oh, right…" He could feel Shuichi's scowl burning into the side of his face. "It starts at… six, right?"

"Seven."

Eiri flinched. _Strike two._

"Right, right…" The last thing he needed was another bout of "Mr. Eiri Uesugi!!!". After the previous hour's activities, Eiri didn't think he'd be able to pull it off. Besides, he figured this would be more brutal harassment then arousing sex. "It's at the NG Concert hall, isn't it?"

Eiri sighed thankfully when Shuichi nodded. He could tell, however, that the pink haired singer was far from impressed.

"Bad Luck, Nittle Grasper, and ASK – that's the line-up?" Eiri question uneasily, trying to indirectly impress his lover, but make it seem nonchalant.

"Yes." Shuichi leaned back a bit. "And you're going to meet be back stage at what time?" 

            _Shit, Eiri groaned. __Think fast, think fast! It can't be that long of a concert… _

            "Nine," Eiri responded hesitantly, but covering it up well.

            "Ten."

            _Strike three._

            "Crap," was all the writer was able to mutter.

            Eiri braced himself, prepared for his lover's attack. Any second now the boy would be pouncing and ripping the older man apart with unwelcome fingernails.

            Shuichi tensed and scowled further. Just as he was about to lunge, he was cut off from the tinny ring of the doorbell. Both men blinked and looked to the bedroom door, as if it held the answer to their silent question: Who's that?

            "I'll get it," the blonde sighed. He was slightly thankful as he eased himself off the bed, but also somewhat disappointed that his time with the boy would be cut short. "Be right back," he called, as he slipped a robe onto his naked form and padded out of the bedroom.

            Eiri made his way down the hall and to the front door as he tightened the belt on his robe. He ran a hand through his disheveled golden hair. A slender hand reached out and opened the door to reveal a woman in her mid-thirties with long brown hair. Her slender frame and large bust was packed tightly in a designer black dress. A gray fur coat was slung over her arm. She glowered terrifically.

              Eiri sighed and leaned wearily against the doorframe, suddenly loosing energy. "Big Sister…" he groaned. "And to what do I owe the pleasure?"

            Mika glared harshly at her younger brother and brushed past him into the apartment. She toed off her black spikes and threw her coat over the couch. She turned back to Eiri, who was closing the door in agitation.

            "You know damn well why I'm here, Eiri," Mika spat. She placed a defiant hand on her cocked hip. "You _better_ be coming home for Christmas this year."

            Eiri rolled his eyes and made a small disgusted sound. The brunette growled. She took a step forward and poked her index finger into her younger (yet much taller) brother's chest.

            "This might be father's last Christmas!" she warned. "Would it kill you to come?!"

            "Possibly." Eiri brushed away his sister's finger and walked around her. "Besides, you've been telling me he was going to croak for a good six years now."

            "Well, he just might!" she cried defensively, clutching onto her handbag tighter. "Besides, what better do you have to do this year anyway? At least last year you had that signing, so I let you off the hook…"

            "Yuki?"

            Mika snapped her head to the side and Eiri slowly turned his as well. Shuichi stood in the archway of the living room. He blinked as both Uesugi's turned their gaze to him. 

Eiri silently thanked whatever god he still believed in that the boy had redressed himself before coming in, and was not in a robe as well. Mika knew damn well the level to which the two men's relationship was at, but Eiri didn't need to be announcing it.

            "Oh, Mika-san." Shuichi smiled shakily. "I didn't know you were stopping by. How are you?"

            The singer's question was left ignored as Mika turned her head back to her brother. Her previous query was mutely answered.

            "You're spending the holiday with him?" she bit out, ignoring the confused pink haired boy, and pointing at him with a claw-like finger.

            Eiri arched an eyebrow and shrugged. He turned around and made his way into the kitchen. "What did you expect?"

            Mika followed unflinchingly. She opened her mouth to speak, but quickly shut it when the sight of a fir tree caught her eye. She face-faulted.

            "You…" She swung her head quickly between Eiri, the tree, and the forgotten Shuichi. "You bought a _tree_?!"

            Eiri looked to the half-decorated tree blankly. "So?" 

            Mika turned an icy glare to the younger man that was still standing in the archway. He flinched under the scrutiny of her glare.

            "You," she hissed, inching closer to Shuichi. 

            "Um," the boy replied nervously. "I talked Yuki into buying it…" He trailed off, not sure whether he was helping his case, or just digging himself in deeper.

            Usually, Uesugi Mika didn't have too terrible of a time coping with the relationship between her brother and the lead singer of Bad Luck. After realizing that Eiri and Tatsuha's promiscuous ways of loving would not be altered, she gave up on trying. Mika would even support the unlikely couples her two younger brothers brought home at times. However, when it came to Shuichi getting in the way of Eiri and his family…

            "Look, kid." Mika was on the younger man in an instant. "You love my brother, right?"

            Eiri cocked a curious eyebrow. Shuichi gulped and managed a meek nod. 

            In a liquid motion the older Uesugi's hands were clutching at the lapels of Shuichi's sweatshirt and lifting him slightly. She pulled him closer, glaring menacingly. The boy gasped, as did Eiri. 

            "Then," she growled, "do what you know is right for him." She paused. "For our _family_."

            Shuichi was released, leaving him in a daze. He watched Mika in a glazed over fashion. She scowled, bit something bitter out to her brother, and gathered her things. Eiri snapped something back and trotted after her, trying to keep restraint. Mika slamming the door in her brother's face knocked Shuichi out of his stunned stupor.

            "Yuki…"

            Eiri sighed and turned his back to the door. He glanced over at his lover, who was staring at the floor, apparently considering something. 

            "Ignore her," the novelist demanded. He silently thanked Shuichi for not picking up on the desperation in his voice. 

            "You didn't tell me…" The pink haired boy turned his head to his lover. A very confused look adorned his features. "I had no clue you were supposed to be with your family…"

            Eiri snorted and began to cross to the singer. "It doesn't matter." He eyed Shuichi oddly. "It doesn't matter," he repeated, just in case.

            "No." The boy sighed and looked down again. He shook his head. "I'm sorry, it was stupid of me. I should have at least been smart enough to realize that it was natural to spend the holidays with your family."

            "God dammit," the writer cursed. He folded his arms across his chest in exasperation. "I said it didn't matter!"

            "They're your family, Yuki!" Shuichi cried, snapping his head up. "Of course it matters! You said you haven't been there in six years just a few minutes ago! Don't you think you should see them?!"

            "You're only saying that so Mika doesn't claw your eyes out," Eiri growled matter-of-factly.

            Shuichi shook his head wildly. "No!" He grabbed fistfuls of the older man's robes. "Do you hate your family that much, Yuki? That you don't even want to spend Christmas with them?"

            "It's not as simple as that," the blonde groaned, trying to end the topic.

            "Do you love them?" Shuichi pressed, leaning closer. "You do, _right?"_

            Eiri sighed. "I suppose (somewhere deep down in my rotting heart that will probably soon fail me) I might care for Tatsuha and Mika. But not the old fart." The golden-eyed man couldn't even tell if it was a joke or not.

            Shuichi frowned. "Christmas is a time to be with those you love, then," he answered back softly, not sure if his question had really been answered, but hoping that it was Eiri's way of saying "yes, I love my family".

            Eiri bit down on his tongue harshly before he could cry out some romantic nonsense that he would severely regret later. After all – he cared about Shindou Shuichi much more then any old monk…

            The novelist's stomach lurched as the wave of sadness washed over Shuichi's face. He hated it when the boy had that look… It always made Eiri feel so… _helpless_. If he was so sad, then why would he be pressing for Eiri to go?

            "They're your family, Yuki," Shuichi urged lowly. "You should go. You never know if something bad could happen – and then wouldn't you feel horrible? Wouldn't you hate yourself if you knew that you blew away spending the last holiday together as a family?"

            "I don't need my family to make me have any negative feelings, thank you." Eiri brushed the boy's hands away that were worrying at his robe. "You and I can do that fine on our own, thanks."

            Shuichi blinked. "I make you hate yourself?"

            Eiri sighed. _Only every time something stupid comes out of my mouth and you get that teary-eyed look on your face - _he inwardly grimaced – _which is about every half-hour._

"No, forget that." 

The blonde trudged into the kitchen and pulled a beer from the fridge. He patted against his chest to realize that he wasn't wearing his usual shirt, which meant that he had no cigarettes on him. He contemplated going into the bedroom to get them from the shirt pocket that lay discarded on the bedroom floor. He rolled his eyes and popped open his beer, not having enough energy for the journey to find his cigarettes.

            Shuichi pursed his lips for a moment. He exhaled sharply in weary determination. "You're going, aren't you?"

            Eiri slid a tired glance to the fir tree. Only the lights were strewn (haphazardly, one might add) over the limbs of the tree, and the ornaments lay on the floor. He took a sip of beer and continued staring at the tree.

            "We should finish decorating that."

            "Yuki!"

            Eiri snapped his gaze over to the fuming singer. "What?" he cried in mock innocence.

            "Stop evading my questions!" Shuichi stormed over to his lover. "You _are going, __right?!"_

            The writer glared. "No."

            "Yuki!"

            "They're _my family, dammit!" He slammed the beer can down on the counter. "And I don't have to go if I don't want to!"_

            "They _are your family – all the more reason why you should SPEND CHRISTMAS WITH THEM!!" the younger man screeched, fists clenched._

            Eiri winced. "Stop screaming!!" He pressed the heel of his hands against his eyes. The nicotine craving worsened. "We're not getting anywhere doing this."

            Shuichi calmed down slowly, removing his fingernails from the skin of his palms. He relaxed visibly and slumped his shoulders.

            "Right, right." The pink-haired boy eyed the man before him. "Yuki, I want you to go."

            Eiri raised his eyebrows jadedly. "I thought I was what you wanted for Christmas," he responded. His voice was dripping with cocky confidence.

            "I--!" Shuichi shut his mouth, unable to protest. "I… I do… But…" He looked down at his own socked feet, which were a mere three inches from Eiri's own slippered ones. "But you should be with your family – not some two-bit singer who nags you constantly and is always getting on your nerves." He dropped his voice so low it was practically inaudible. "Especially someone you don't love…"

            Eiri strained his ears. Surely he hadn't heard the boy right… "What?" 

            Shuichi shook his head sadly. "Nothing." He looked back up to the writer. "Please, Yuki. Go. They love you, whether you think so or not, and you know you love them, too. Spend Christmas with them."

            The older man adverted his eyes to the neglected beer can. He stared at it blankly. "If I do, I'd have to leave tonight." He looked back to Shuichi. "I'd miss Christmas with you _and_ your concert."

            Shuichi forced an obviously pained smile. "That's all right!" he chirped sadly. Eiri frowned. "We're just singing Christmas songs – no big deal. It's not like it's any of my crappy writing, ya know?" He laughed nervously. "Besides, I sang for you earlier. And we can always have Christmas a day or two late."

            "But—"

            "It's the _mood," Shuichi interrupted quickly, "not the date." He smiled wider, eyes becoming glassy. "Not a big deal."_

            Eiri clenched his jaw and tried to suppress the urge to reach out and pull the boy into his arms. He mentally kicked himself. _There I go again with making him cry._

            "Stop it," the blonde demanded softly. 

            _Don't make it harder on me, Yuki… Shuichi cried mentally. "Stop what?" he asked harmlessly._

            "Stop acting like you don't care."

            The purple-eyed boy shuddered as he felt Eiri brush his fingertips across the younger man's cheek. A tear was smudged away that Shuichi hadn't even noticed. He swallowed hard.

            _I don't want you to go, Yuki, but… Shuichi clenched his fists, reprinting the divots in his hands from his nails. How badly he wanted the older man to hold him right now._

            "If you don't want me to go, then don't usher me to leave," Eiri reprimanded kinder then he had planned.

            Somewhere along the lines the novelist had rested his hand on Shuichi's side. The hand that was caressing the tear-lined cheek slipped up and ran through pink locks. The singer's feet lay rested between Eiri's. They slowly inched closer into an inevitable embrace that Shuichi was sure would be the cracking point.

            "Just say the word and I won't leave," Eiri whispered against the younger man's ear. Shuichi trembled.

            He wanted to scream out and throw himself in his lover's arms, however Shuichi's mind kept replaying back to Mika's words: _Then do what you know is right for him. For our family._

            Shuichi gulped and dipped his head up. He pressed his lips against Eiri's cool cheek. He closed his eyes and tried to fight back the throbbing in his eyes from the onslaught of tears begging to get out.

            "Don't…" Eiri pulled the boy closer. "Mika will get over it. Don't let her intimidate you…"

            The lead singer of Bad Luck pressed his hands flat against Eiri's shoulders. He pushed back and stared sadly in his lover's golden-eyes. He quickly leaned up and pressed his lips against the older man. He hesitantly pulled back and fought the tears that swelled.

            _I don't want to be left all alone, Yuki…_

            "Give my regards to your family…" Shuichi whispered. He pulled back further, leaving himself cold and defenseless.

            The pink-haired man could have sworn he saw something not unlike disappointment and anguish flash in Eiri's eyes. However, it was quickly replaced by the man's ever-reliable front.

            "If that's what you want."

            _No, Yuki, I don't want it, but I just… God, I don't know what I want…_

            Eiri pulled away from the counter and tore his gaze away from Shuichi. The sadness and tears in the vocalist's purple eyes was terrifying.

            _You're getting to close too that boy. You have to learn to detach yourself again or it's never going to stop hurting._

            Shuichi took a shaky breath and closed his eyes. The sooner Eiri left, the sooner he could let the tears go…

            _I love you, Yuki… But I'm just hurting you, aren't I? That's what Mika said to me once… I need to do what's right for you… I need to stop clinging to you so much._

            Eiri glanced over to his forgotten beer. He hastily picked it up and gulped the rest down.

            _I want you to be dependent on me, but it seems you don't trust me all that much, do you? Don't you think I can cope without them, dammit, Shuichi? God, no… There I go again… I have to let go…_

            Eiri sighed heavily as he finished the beer. He tossed it into the sink where a few other empty cans lay.

            _Yuki!!_

_            Dammit, Shu-chan!!_

            Eiri spun on his heel and ignored the pain in his chest. "I'll go pack."     

**Author's Notes**: Wow, that was REALLY long for me… I feel very antsy having a chapter this long… *gets dizzy* @_@ I hope you all enjoyed it. Chapter two and three will be out before Christmas… But probably not by much (a day or two, maybe?) ^_^;; I'm pathetic.

Read and Review, please. ^_^


	2. It's Not My Party, But I'll Cry if I Wan...

**Author's Notes**: Thank you sooooo much to those of you who reviewed my story and liked it. *hands you all kudos* You rock, ^_^ Only one more chapter!

**Christmas is a Time…**

**Chapter 2: It's Not My Party, But I'll Cry if I Want To.**

            "Hey."

            Shindou Shuichi jumped lightly from his position in front of the tree. He nearly dropped the ornament that he was hanging on a bristled branch. He finished his task and cocked his head back.

            Eiri was throwing a long coat over the arm of the couch but had his eyes focused on Shuichi. A duffel bag lay abandoned on the floor by his feet. He was redressed in his turtleneck and pants.

            "Hi," Shuichi responded with a weak smile. "You're finished packing?"

            Eiri straightened himself and stuck one hand in his pocket. "Yeah." He glanced to the tree. "Mika's on her way. She'll be here to pick me up any minute."

            "Oh." Shuichi leaned down to pick up another ornament from the floor. "Say hello to Tatsuha for me, ok?" He turned back to the tree, not waiting for an answer.

            Eiri's expression was blank, as it usually was when he was trying to conceal his inner turmoil. He watched the boy hang up a candy-cane and felt a pang of sadness wash over him. _You said we'd decorate the tree together… _He frowned.

            "I thought…" Eiri let out a breath and shook his head slowly.

            "What's that?" Shuichi looked over to the older man. "What'd you say?"

            "Nothing." Eiri sat on the arm of the couch. "Just forget it. It apparently doesn't matter."

            Shuichi lifted an eyebrow. "What's wrong?" he asked with a slow, chiding voice, as if speaking to a child.

            The vocalist blinked in bewilderment as the blonde glared at him icily. Shuichi's face was painted with a mixture of surprise, horror, and heartbreak. Eiri hadn't looked at the boy in that way since before the escapade at New York…

            _Yuki… No, don't look at me like that!_

            Eiri could feel his golden-eyes cool over into a dull, harsh bronze. He clenched his jaw and steadied his gaze further. The swelling of sundry emotions in him was scaring him, and he knew damn well Shuichi was the source of every single one.

            The singer quickly turned his head away. He stared unseeingly at the cluttered living room floor. He took in a sharp breath. A forced smile graced his lips.

            "Well, I hope you –"

            "Shut up."

            Shuichi flinched, feeling the bite of terror gnaw at his bones. He swallowed hard as he saw out of his peripheral vision Eiri get up and begin nearing the smaller man.

            "Yuki –"

            "Shut. Up." Eiri bit out each syllable in a low, rumbling voice. 

            The pink haired man squeezed his eyes closed tight. It wasn't like Eiri being upset with him was a rare occasion… However, Eiri had never been _this mad._

            _No…  the boy thought desperately. _No, Yuki has been this mad before._ He drifted back to the time in the elevator when Eiri had first kissed the younger man. Somehow Shuichi doubted this was going to end up as nicely… He braced himself for the blow he was sure would come._

            "Idiot…"

            Shuichi opened his eyes in surprise. He turned his head to Eiri, staring up at him with wide, confused eyes. The older man was looking down on him in a meld of anger and disappointment.

            "Yuki…" Shuichi blinked a few times. "What…?"

            Eiri tried to glare at the boy as harshly as he could. "Why do you want me to leave? I thought I'm what you wanted for Christmas."

            The singer swiftly hung his head. "You are," he answered as cheerily as possible. "But, like I said, we can have Christmas together when you get back." He looked back up to the blonde. He smiled warmly despite himself. "What's most important to me is what's good for you – and that's your family."

            Eiri clenched his fists and growled angrily. "That's not true, dammit!! You're the –"

            Both men stiffened at the sound of the metallic doorbell. Neither moved for a moment, too terrified to speak, far as answer the door.

            _This is it. Tell him now! Tell him you want him to stay with you!! Tell him you want nothing more then for him to just be with you!!_

_            This is it. Dammit, why can't I just tell him that _he's_ the one I want to be with?! That's _he's_ the one that's "good" for me?!_

            It was painfully obvious to both of them that the other was trying to say something but couldn't quite get it out. Another moment of an awkward silence passed.

            The doorbell rang again, ripping apart the hushed intensity of the room.

            _Don't let him leave… Stop telling him to go when it's really not ok!!_

_            If I go it will make me harden myself against him again… But… do I want that?_

            Shuichi gulped with difficulty. "That's probably Mika," he offered lowly. "You better go."

            Eiri could feel his stomach burning with pent up hostility. How dare Shuichi just brush him off like that?!

            "Fine," he snarled with newfound resolve. "I'm leaving."

            _Yuki, wait!! Don't leave me!! Don't you see that I'm not okay?! That I really do_ want you to stay?! Please, don't go!!__

_            I'll leave, and by the time I get back I won't care anymore… I can be perfectly arrogant, like how I used to be.  I was getting too involved anyway._

            The younger man held his breath, too afraid that if he let it go he would either break down crying or admit defeat. He watched Eiri snatch up his coat as he jammed his feet into his shoes. 

            Shuichi felt his lungs grow tight with the lack of oxygen and his throat stretch with stifled words. The sight of Eiri's hand reaching out for the doorknob was the absolute breaking point.

            _I can't let him go._

_            I'll just completely let go of him._

            "Yuki!!"

            The said man froze. He glared down at the knob for a moment. After a second of apprehension, Eiri quickly brushed it aside and began to open the door.

            "Yuki, wait!!" Shuichi cried desperately, stepping forward. "Yuki, I--!"

            _That's it! Just say it! _

_            Don't look back…_

            Shuichi was cut off from his confession as the door slammed harshly behind the aloof writer.

            "Are you going to be okay?" came the tenor of Nakano Hiroshi's voice from the other end of the phone.

            "I guess so…" Shuichi sniffed. He leaned back against the headboard of the bed. "It's weird… I mean, it's only two or three days… Yuki's left for a couple of days at a time before, and yet…"

            "And yet you feel like it's the end of the world," Hiro responded gently.

            "Or at least the end of _us_." Shuichi could feel the tears swell up again. "It just felt so… _final. As if he was walking out of me."_

            "Well, technically, he was." Hiro paused. "Just not indefinitely."

            "Why is it I'm in so much pain…?" the singer whimpered into the phone. Any minute now the tears were going to start flowing again, despite the ten minutes of crying he had mere moments ago.

            "Because it's Christmas time and you guys are fighting." Hiro let out a breath. "I guess it's worse when you have a fight around the holidays. Especially if you two won't be together on Christmas."

            "You're not helping by rubbing it in, Hiro," Shuichi snapped sadly. 

            "Sorry, sorry." The guitarist clucked his tongue. "I guess I'm just not too good at this type of thing. I'm a good listener, you know that, but when it comes to Yuki-san walking out… Well, I really don't know what to tell you."

            "I suppose I'm just disappointed…" the pink haired boy offered.

            Shuichi repositioned himself on the bed so that he was lying down on his stomach. He shimmied over to Eiri's side of the bed and hugged the older man's pillow to his chest.

            "Disappointed because Yuki-san won't be with you?" 

            "Yeah." Shuichi closed his eyes dejectedly. "He promised we'd be together, and then he left…"

            "Um…" Hiro paused again, trying to figure out how to word his next sentence. "Well, you know, Shuichi… _You_ were the one who told him to leave…"

            "So?!" Shuichi cried, opening his eyes. "He should have known that I really didn't want him to leave!"

            "Shuichi! Yuki-san is pretty god damn oblivious when it comes to other people's emotions! You actually expected him to pick up on your insincerity in telling him to leave?!" Hiro reprimanded in exasperation.

            "Well, YEAH!" Shuichi sat up quickly, still clinging to the pillow. He gripped the phone tightly. "And Yuki is NOT oblivious!"

            Hiro sighed heavily. "Fine, fine, he's not oblivious. But God, Shuichi – I don't know what goes through your head sometimes. He's not the type of guy that plays cat and mouse. If you tell him to leave, then he's going to leave!"

            "But…!!" Shuichi whined professionally. The tears were blurring his vision. "But, Yuki NEVER does what I ask him!"

            The brunette groaned from the other end of the connection. "Whatever. There's no use in harping over it. What's done is done. I'm here if you need to talk, but I'm not giving anymore advice. You don't listen to me anyway."

            "Aw, Hiro…" The singer sniffled. "I'm sorry…"

            "Don't worry about it. You've got enough on your plate."

            Shuichi snuggled against the pillow and fought back the tears as best he could. He closed his eyes again and laid his head on top of Eiri's pillow. It smelt just like the temperamental blonde. Vanilla, light cologne, and the unique scent of Yuki Eiri filled Shuichi's senses.

            "Hey," Hiro continued, "if you're worried about being alone for Christmas, then why not visit your family?"

            Shuichi promptly opened his eyes, glaring out at nothing in particular. "No way," he bit out lowly. "I had to fight with them for three days to let me stay with Yuki on Christmas. No way in hell I'm going to crawl back there with my tail between my legs."

            Hiro didn't respond for a moment, too surprised at Shuichi's use of the popular metaphor. It was rare that Shuichi said something intelligent when it came to Eiri – or most things, really.

            "Um…" Shuichi straightened himself. "Could I…" He paused. "Spend Christmas with you?"

            "Oh, uh…" Hiro muttered unsurely. "Well, I kind of have plans…"

            "Oh?" Shuichi tried to mask his disappointment. "Are you and your family going to go see your brother or something?"

            "Uh… No… not really…" The guitarist swallowed. "I'm not spending Christmas with my family the whole day this year…"

            Shuichi's ears perked. "Explain?"

            "Um, well… Ayaka's coming down to visit me…" Hiro responded almost inaudibly.

            Shuichi didn't say anything for a good minute. His hold on the phone loosened somewhat. The buzzing from the complementary silence on the other end of the phone bombarded his ears. 

            "Uh, on second thought, Shuichi," Hiro stuttered nervously, "you can hang out at my place. I'm sure Ayaka won't mind. It will be a lot of fun with the three of us."

            Shuichi found the ability to speak come fairly easy. "No, Hiro. It's ok." He sighed softly so that Hiro wouldn't hear. "I'm gonna go now. I'll talk to you later."

            "Wait, Shuichi, really, it's okay. You can—"

            "See you tomorrow, Hiro," Shuichi called over the fumbling brunette. 

He heard Hiro mutter something back but hung up the phone anyway.

Suguru groaned in exasperation as he caught sight of a pink blur running towards him. "You're twenty minutes late." He paused for emphasis. "For a meeting _you scheduled."_

Shuichi doubled at the waist and rested his hands on his knees. He panted heavily through a small "sorry, sorry". After a moment he straightened himself and smiled sloppily. Hiro smiled and shook his head in amusement; Suguru rolled his eyes.

"Well," the young keyboardist sighed, "you're here now. What is this about? It's Christmas Eve, freezing cold outside, and we have a concert in six hours. Yet, you deem it necessary to call Nakano and me out here even though we're trying to rest for tonight." His face was weary. "This better be good."

Shuichi collapsed on one of the wooden benches that were scattered about the park. Suguru stood over him in confusion and Hiro plopped down next to the singer.

"Yeah, you seemed pretty urgent on the phone this morning." The brunette pursued his lips. "Something _else_ wrong?"

Suguru perked at the statement. He arched a thin eyebrow. "Something else? What's going on?" He frowned. "Is it Yuki-san?"

Shuichi (who had been opening his mouth numerous times, only to be interrupted) huffed. "Well, sort of," he admitted softly. "It's also about the concert tonight."

Hiro leaned back a bit. "Please tell me it's not bad news…"

"Not particularly." Shuichi shifted uneasily. "It's about our line-up…"

Suguru bit at the inside of his cheek. He folded his arms and rubbed at them to keep himself warm in the icy weather. "Are you changing something?" he added worriedly. 

Shuichi flashed the two men a nervous smile. Hiro and Suguru both groaned and hung they're heads.

"The concert is in a few hours!" Suguru cried. "You can't go changing things _now_!"

"I want to get rid of 'O Come All Ye Faithful'," the pink haired male responded nonchalantly.

"Shuichi!" Hiro scrubbed at his face. "We _need_ three songs! If we get rid of it, we'll only have two!" 

"Seguchi-san will kill me," Suguru moaned desperately. "Don't do this to us, Shindou."

The vocalist grinned and shook his head. He stood from his seat confidently. He stepped to the side a bit to eye his partners at once. 

"No worries," Shuichi chirped. "We'll have three songs." He stopped, just watching the two, waiting for a reaction.

Suguru stood staring, completely bewildered. "You're not… adding another song," he gulped, "are you?"

Shuichi only grinned.

"Shindou!!" The dark haired man took a threatening step forward. "There's no way! We could never learn a song that fast!"

Hiro smirked. "And I suppose," he began, standing from the bench, "that this will be dedicated to Yuki-san?

Shuichi blinked. "What? How did you know, Hiro?" 

The said guitarist slapped a hand on the violet-eyed man's shoulder. He grinned further. "You said it had something to do with Yuki-san." He winked. "All right then. I'm all for it." Suguru face-faulted. 

Shuichi sniffled as tears of joy sprang to his glistening eyes. He clutched at his best friend's jacket, completely ignoring Suguru's squeaks of protest. 

"Hiro…" the pink haired man whimpered. "You're the greatest."

            Hiro's cool smile never faltered. "I know."

            The keyboardist of Bad Luck gripped at their shoulders. He continued to revolt. "No! No, no, _no_, no, no!" He shook his head wildly. "There's no way! We don't have time! They'll kill us!"

            Hiro turned to Suguru, all the while patting his other sniveling friend. He waved away the younger man with a hand, dismissing his protests. "They've dealt with crazier things from us before." He turned back to Shuichi. He nudged the singer's shoulder. "Well, what song?"

            Shuichi grinned as he wiped at his nose. He sniffled. "'All I Want for Christmas is You'," he answered proudly.

            Hiro nodded in approval. Both men high-fived after Suguru smacked his forehead and admitted defeat.

            Hiro plucked the top string of his guitar. A low E trembled out.

"Hey, Hiro?"

            "Mmm?" 

He pressed his finger down on the fifth fret on the first string and plucked it and the second string. A perfect A resonated about the room.

            "Where's Fujisaki?"

            "With Seguchi-san."

            Hiro moved his fingers down and tested the third string. A D rang in perfect sync.

            "Hey, Hiro?"

            "What?"

            He moved down to the next string. He tested the note and frowned slightly at the dissonance of a B sharp that shouldn't have been sharp.

            "When do we go on?"

            "Fifteen minutes."

            He quickly fixed the tuning and moved on to the last string.

            "Hey, Hi—"

            "Whaaaat?!"

            He positioned his fingers and plucked the final string. A pointed high-E bit into the air. He cringed and went to fixing it.

            "I think I'm going to throw up."

            Nakano Hiroshi cried out as the last string snapped and cut into his finger. 

            "Jesus Christ, why are there never paper towels in public bathrooms?!" Hiro cried. He searched for anything that could be considered sanitary to clean up the vomit that had missed the toilet. 

            Shuichi pulled back from the toilet and sighed heavily. He swallowed hard. Just as he was about to open his mouth, his eyes went wide and bile rose up his throat. He jerked and threw himself back over the toilet again.

            "What the hell is happening in here?" Suguru cried as he ran into the bathroom. 

            "Well what does it look like?" Hiro snapped, leaning down in unison with Suguru. He crawled over to Shuichi and stroked his hair. "He got nervous and spewed all over. Thank God the dope got to the bathroom in time." Suguru went to go kneel on the opposite side of the puking boy, but Hiro stopped him. "I said he got to the bathroom, not the toilet," he added, pointing to the puddle of Shuichi's dinner that Suguru was about to sit in. 

            The keyboardist sighed heavily. He watched as Shuichi leaned back in a short reprieve from vomiting. "Are you going to be okay?" he asked, reaching out to place a reassuring hand on the singer's shoulder.

            Shuichi nodded slowly and wiped at his mouth. "Yeah," he replied in a raspy voice. "When do we go on?"

            Hiro frowned and reached out to flush the toilet. "Well, we're supposed to go on now, but I told K-san to put ASK's next song on first to give us time." He shook his head. "But you can't sing like this."

            "Yes I can!!" Shuichi cried, jumping up. He winced slightly and leaned against the wall for support. "I'll be fine in a minute," he added with less confidence.

            "I doubt that." Suguru stood, followed by Hiro. The keyboardist crossed his arms. "Why were you so nervous?"

            "I…" Shuichi looked down in embarrassment. "I'm worried about the new song I guess…"

            Hiro rolled his eyes heavenward. "This wouldn't have happened if you didn't change it last minute."

            "I know…" the singer responded meekly. 

            "It's okay."

            The three occupants of the bathroom turned to the door way to see K standing there. He leaned against the doorframe, blue eyes sparkling.

            "You can do it, can't you?" The American reached for his shoulder holster. "Or do you need some motivation, Shindou?"

            The vocalist stiffened. "No! No motivation, thanks! I'm fine!!" He rushed over to the sink and washed out his mouth to further his statement.

            "Good, because you're on in less then a minute." K grinned in the way only he knew how.

            "One minute?!" Hiro and Suguru both cried. They turned to Shuichi, hoping for some way out of it.

            Shuichi was looking at himself in the mirror and was met with a pale, almost green, complexion. He frowned. Was he really well enough to go out there?

            "It's for Mr. Yuki, isn't it?" the gun wielding blonde asked. Shuichi's ears perked. "You can do it for him, can't you?"

            Bad Luck's guitarist, keyboardist, and manager all studied their singer carefully. It was all on Shuichi's shoulders now.

            The pink haired boy hung his head. He clenched his clammy fists and shook softly. Suguru held his breath, Hiro clenched his jaw, and K arched an eyebrow. 

            "Ten seconds…" the tall blonde informed in a low voice that seemed to cut into Shuichi despite it's gentle volume.

            "Well, then…" Shuichi snapped his head up to stare at himself in the mirror. His normal complexion was back and his violet-eyes were alive again. He glared at himself in determination. "We better hurry."

            The applause of ASK's "Sleigh Ride" filled the concert hall along with many screams such as "Ma-kun, you're so kick ass!", or "I love your glasses, Ken-chan!", or "Taki, you're my idol!!". The cries of adoration continued even after the three strode off stage.

            Shuichi's stomach lurched again as the three neared. This time he wanted to be sick from anger, not nervousness. After all, the band was given a second chance under NG Records despite everything Taki had done. Every time Bad Luck's lead singer met eyes with ASK's lead singer, Shuichi felt like punching the droopy eyed man out. 

            "Hey," Taki drawled, nearing the younger boy. "I heard you got sick."

            "Yes. And I'm fine now, thank you," Shuichi bit out angrily.

            "Right." Taki stuffed his hands into his pockets and let out a breath. "All that matters is that you're doing better."

            Shuichi blinked. Sure, there was a tinge of vehemence in the older singer's voice, but it was much kinder then usual.

            "You can top those screams," the raven-haired man asked, referring to the cries of the audience, "can't you?" He paused and caught eyes with Shuichi. "Just like you always do. No matter the circumstances, you'll go out there and beat us." He sighed and began to walk away. "Feel better."

            Shuichi stood, dumbfounded. The crowd's pandemonium slowly died down.

            "Hey, Shuichi." Hiro nudged the singer. "Come on."

            The said boy quickly snapped around. "Was that a compliment?!" he cried out to Taki's retreating back. Hiro quickly ordered Shuichi to shush, but the singer would have none of it. "Hey! Was it?!"

            A low rumble of laughter and a wave over Aizawa Taki's shoulder was Shuichi's only reply.

            "Come _on!" Suguru hissed, pushing Shuichi onstage._

            The vocalist stumbled on, followed by his two coworkers. They took their places on the dimly lit stage and paused, waiting for the lights to come up. Blues, reds, greens, violets, and yellows flooded the stage. 

            The screaming soon came. The screaming that topped ASK's by far.

            _We haven't even sung anything yet… Shuichi marveled. This was one of the smallest audiences Bad Luck had performed for in a long, long time, and yet this was the first time Shuichi really noticed how filled with adored Bad Luck was. A pang of guilt stabbed at him, but he quickly brushed it aside._

            "Hey, hey, hey!!" Shuichi cried into his microphone over the crowd. "Here's Bad Luck for you!!" The guilt came again when the roars grew. "This song is dedicated to someone, so please watch us closely." He smiled wilder when the audience began to shush in respect. The guilt faded. "This song is for someone very special to me that couldn't be here for Christmas." He laughed nervously. "It was kind of a last minute decision, so I hope we don't disappoint."

            All the members of Bad Luck gaped in shock as cries of "Yuki Eiri couldn't be here?!" and such filled the hall. Suguru hung his head and sighed heavily. Shuichi stuttered nervously, trying to calm the crowd down. Hiro laughed into his hands to muffle out the sound but the microphones picked it up anyway. 

            "Now, now," Shuichi offered, "if I can handle it, so can you." He grinned cheesily. "Or do you want us not to sing?" He laughed warmly as cries of protest rang out. "Okay then! Guys!!" He turned to Hiro and Suguru. "Let's rock!"

            A slow melody was played by Suguru's nimble fingers. The synthesizer was set to sound like little bells which instantly hushed the howling throng of people. Hiro played a soft cord that trembled throughout the hall. Shuichi took a slow breath in and began to sing.

            "I don't want a lot for Christmas," he sang gently with his eyes closed. "There is just one thing I need." The crowd cooed sympathetically. "I don't care about no presents/ Underneath the Christmas tree." He took a slow breath to relax himself. "I just want you for my own/ More then you could ever know." More "awww"s followed. "Make my wish come true." Shuichi held out the last note of the line and played around with the variations. Even though he had his eyes closed he could picture the crowd as he listened to them go wild. His smile was barely suppressed. "All I want for Christmas…" There were more hollers at the singer's wonderful tenor. "Is…" Shuichi snapped his eyes open. "You!"

            Hiro wailed down harshly on his guitar, ripping through the serenity of the first verse. Suguru pounded out cords that resonated perfectly with the tearing guitar. The crowd went crazy at the sudden pick up in pace that was adorned with an unusual rock style. 

            _A job well done, Shuichi thought proudly. They had really pulled it off._

            "I don't want a lot for Christmas," the pink-haired boy came in, singing with all the energy he had in him. "There is just one thing I need." Hiro and Suguru backed him up with an "And I…" and small "oooh"s throughout the next line. "'Don't care about no presents/ Underneath the Christmas tree." Shuichi gripped the microphone stand and bent over it. "I won't even hang my stocking/ There upon the fireplace." He threw his head back. "Santa Clause won't make me happy/ With a toy on Christmas day!!" He turned back to the calls of the audience. "I just want you for my own/ More then you could ever know!!" He bobbed slightly to the beat of the synthesizer. "Make my wish come true/ All I want for Christmas is you!!"

            Shuichi took a short reprieve as Hiro and Suguru stopped echoing the chorus and sang an "Ooooo, baby." The two musicians jammed harder. In a quick breath Shuichi was back at it. "Oh, I want ask for much this Christmas/ I wont' even wish for snow." The crowed cheered at the small pout the singer made. Hiro and Suguru sang an "And I…" and then began to echo Shuichi again. "Just wanna keep my baby/ Underneath the mistletoe." The audience cried out even more, causing Shuichi to blush. "I won't make a list and send it/ To the North Pole for Saint Nick." He shook his head sadly. "I won't even stay awake/ To hear those magic reindeer click." Shuichi pulled his hands away from the microphone and wrapped his arms around himself. "Cuz I just want you here tonight/ Holding on to me so tight." He wriggled up and down as he had done earlier for Eiri. A wave of sadness washed over him even as the audience cheered enthusiastically. "What more can I do?" he sang, with just a tinge of gloom. "Oh baby, all I want for Christmas is you!" 

            Shuichi pulled back a few inches as Hiro and Suguru finished their echoes. All attention was turned to Hiro as the ripped on his guitar with a floor-trembling solo. It was a quick touch that the three had come up with in their frenzied state of writing the song in Bad Luck style. The audience was crazy and whooping. Shuichi pretended to not be amazed at how fluid Hiro's movements were even when playing such an aggressive solo. Towards the end Suguru came in as an accompaniment, which pleased the crowd greatly. Soon Hiro was just playing heavy chords to emphasize the keyboardist's harmony. A few more seconds passed of accelerandos and mezzo fortes, until Shuichi stepped back up to his boom-stand and resumed singing in a less dramatic state.

            "All the lights are shining/ So brightly everywhere," he sang sweetly, calming down the audience. "And the sound of children's/ Laughter fills the air." He watched the mob with disheartened eyes. "Everyone is singing/ I hear those sleigh bells ringing." He sucked in a quick breath. "Santa won't you bring me the one I really need/ Won't you please bring my baby to me!" He sang right through and scooped up into the chorus. "Oh, I don't want a lot for Christmas/ This is all I'm asking for." He sniffed as his head began to pound. "I just wanna see my baby/ Standing right outside my door." The spectators began to notice the melancholy in the vocalist's voice and quieted down significantly. Shuichi looked down to his feet, too embarrassed to stare out into the audience anymore. Hiro and Suguru eyed him carefully. "Oh, I just want you for my own/ More then you could ever know." He took in a shuddering breath that didn't go unnoticed. "Make my wish come true/ Oh baby, all I want for Christmas…" He gulped hard as his voice wavered. "Is…" Shuichi clenched his jaw in a desperate act to not start crying. He completely missed his cue to finish the line. Hiro and Suguru quickly picked up where he left out will small chants of "You, baby! All I want for Christmas is you, baby!" Shuichi snapped his head back up and joined in with Hiro and Suguru. A forced smile graced his lips. The song was written so that Shuichi was supposed to be singing different embellishments on "You" while Hiro and Suguru chanted, but his voice was wavering too much. The audience didn't seem to mind. 

            The crowd cheered at volumes and decibels even Shuichi couldn't fathom. The sheer adoration that they had for Bad Luck and the infamous Yuki-Shuichi couple was amazing. Shuichi choked back a sob.

            "Thank you all!" he cried into the microphone. "We'll be back on stage later for you!" With that and a quick wave he ran off stage, leaving a fumbling Suguru and pleased Hiro behind.

            Shuichi buried his face in his hands and sobbed harder. He sat at a chair in his dressing room, elbows leaning on the table before him. Hiro sat on the table and stroked pink locks gently. After a moment Shuichi folded his arms on the table in rested on them, crying harder.

            "Shhh…" Hiro whispered softly, running his fingers up and down his bestfriend's back. "Don't worry. It'll be okay."

            "No it won't!" Shuichi cried between sobs. "God, why does it hurt so much?!"

            Hiro smiled warmly. "Because you love him," he hushed. 

            The crying boy stilled for a moment. He sniffled. "I do…" He rubbed desperately at his eyes. "But it's just a holiday. There's no need to… oh God," he whimpered, setting the sobbing off again. 

            Hiro shifted closer to Shuichi. He grinned and patted the boy on the head. "If you pay me I'll make love to you and let you call me Yuki."

            Despite the tears, a small bubble of laughter broke the singer's lips. He lifted his head from his arms and stared at Hiro in something akin to mild amusement. "Would you really?" Shuichi asked as playfully as possible.

            Hiro tapped his friend's nose. "Prolly not, cuz Yuki-san would kick my ass." He thought for a minute. "Unless it was a _huge_ sum of money."

            Shuichi pouted. "Gee, thanks." He rested his head back on his arms. A moment of silence passed, but it was soon broken by a small sniffle. "Hiro…?"

            The brunette leaned back on his arms. "Yeah?"

            "I miss him…" the pink-haired man replied in a small voice.

            Hiro smiled softly. "I know." He resumed stroking the aforementioned pink hair. "I know…" He titled his head back and stared at the lighting fixtures. "But ya know… I think he misses you, too…"

            Shuichi closed his eyes in a pained expression. "I doubt it…" He sniffled again. "He's probably glad to have me gone… I annoyed him so much yesterday, Hiro… We got into such a fight, and… Oh, Hiro…!" Shuichi bit down harshly on his lip as the tears swelled again. "I'm so selfish…"

            The guitarist let his eyes slid down and rested at the doorway of the dressing room. He smiled at the sight that caught his eye. "Selfish?" Hiro asked, letting his eyes fall to Shuichi. "You're not selfish at all. Despite how much you love him, you told him to go. Right?" Hiro looked back to the doorway. His smile spread.

            Shuichi nodded and sobbed softly. "But I didn't want him to go… I just wanted him all to myself…! He really is all I want, Hiro, and I don't know why it hurts so bad, but it does, and I just can't take it, and I want him here with me, and I want us to spend our first Christmas as a couple _together. My God, is that too much to ask?!" he cried, rambling on and on, only stopping to sob. _

            "Not really."

            Shuichi sucked in a deep breath at the sound of the oh-so-familiar velvety voice that melted his heart. He slowly brought his head up from where it lay on his arms. He stared dead ahead for a moment, before whipping around and catching site of what lay in the doorway.

            "Yuki!"

            Shuichi jumped up from his chair, causing it to clatter to the ground. He stood, frozen, a mere three feet away from the man he wanted more then anything in the world. 

            Hiro jumped down from his seat on the table and strode over to Eiri. "I called him and told him how much you missed him and all," he informed Shuichi. Hiro patted a hand on the older man's shoulder as he walked by. "Don't make him cry too much more," he demanded teasingly. "We still have two more songs to sing." And with that Hiro left, closing the door behind him.

            Shuichi shuddered. "Yuki…"

            "Idiot." Eiri glared at the boy in front of him with angry eyes. "Why did you act like it was fine if you really didn't want me to go?"

            The boy crumpled into a fit of tears again. He sobbed both in relief and guilt. "I'm sorry, Yuki!!" he cried into his hands. "I just wanted you to be with your family! Mika said it was best, and that's what I want for you! But I'm selfish and now you're back, and I've ruined everything! Yuki, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to screw it all up! God, Yuki, I—"

            "Shut up."

            Shuichi tensed, quickly shutting his mouth. He bit down on his bottom lip to try to repress the sobbing.

            "Just… shut up…" 

            The boy blinked. Was that a crack he heard in Eiri's voice? 

            He brought his head up from his hands. He watched in tear-blurred confusion as the novelist closed the gap between them. Eiri's arms curled around the younger man's waist. Shuichi trembled and caught his lover's gaze. 

            "Yuki…" The singer reached a hand up to graze across Eiri's cheek. "Your eyes…" 

            Eiri frowned, trying to blink away the thin layer of tears that began to swell. "I said shut up," he snapped in an oddly endearing way.

            Shuichi opened his mouth to speak again but quickly shut it. Eiri pulled the boy closer and brushed his lips against his lover's temple.

            "You should have said something," the novelist whispered gruffly. "You should have said that you didn't want me to go…"

            "Yuki," the boy moaned. "I'm sorry." He gasped and pulled back, shutting his mouth. Eiri nudged him a little as if to give him permission to talk. "I..." he began hesitantly. "I… didn't want to be a bigger bother…" He looked away, ashamed. "I know I annoy you, so I thought you'd be happier with your family." He looked back up to Eiri with worried, tear-filled eyes. "When did you get back? Is your family mad?"

            "My dad's pissed, but I don't care. And I got back just in time for the concert. I left early this morning." He smirked. "I was a little disappointed. You dedicated that song to someone who couldn't be with you for Christmas. It obviously wasn't me then…"

            "Oh, Yuki!" Shuichi threw himself in the blonde's arms. "I'm sorry!" he cried again. 

            "Don't worry." Eiri's voice was surprisingly gentle. "Christmas is a time to be with those you love, you said so yourself. And I'm sure somewhere deep down I love my family, but I'd rather be here."

            Shuichi jerked himself back. Did Eiri just indirectly say the he loved Shuichi? No, surely that wasn't possible…!

            "Yuki…" The boy's eyes stared into Eiri's own amber ones searchingly. "Did you just…?"

            "I really do hate to break this up…" Both men turned to the voice in the door. "…but we're on in a minute," Hiro finished.

            Shuichi sighed in disappointment. He smiled up sadly at Eiri who was smirking somewhat back. 

            "Okay then." The writer loosened his hold on the boy. "I'll be in the audience. I'll pick you up afterwards," he smiled confidently, "at ten." Shuichi blushed, thoroughly pleased that Eiri remembered the correct time.

            "Are you sure it's okay you're here?" the singer asked apprehensively. "I feel really bad abo—" 

            Shuichi was cut off as the blonde pressed his lips against the boy's own. The younger man blushed deeper in embarrassment at being kissed so deeply in front of Hiro. Never-the-less, his eyes drooped closed and he kissed back feverishly. It had only been a day, and yet…

            "Shindou!"

            Eiri's arms tightened around the singer, crushing him close.

            "Oh come on, leave 'em alone!"

            Shuichi whimpered softly as Eiri's tongue caressed all the right spots.

            "We're on in thirty seconds!"

            The writer groaned deep in his throat at the sensation of the boy's hands running through his hair.

            "The audience can wait a bit, Fujisaki."

            Shuichi arched at the feel of Eiri's teeth dragging along his bottom lip.

            "If K comes in here he'll shoot us all!"

            Eiri pulled away from his lover's mouth and began to leave a hot trail of kisses down the boy's jaw and throat,

            "It's no big deal! We've got a couple of seconds."

            Shuichi let out a small mewl of delight at the older man's assault on his neck.

            "Not anymore! Do you hear that?! That's the audience clapping!! Nittle Grasper just finished their last song! We have to go out!"

            Eiri soon found himself hoisting Shuichi up to wrap the boy's legs about his waist. His mouth was on the singer's again as he lead them to the table.

            "Gyaah!! What's going on in here?! You're supposed to be going on stage now!!! Ahhh! The President will kill me!"

            Shuichi pulled back from the kiss and leaned up. He flicked his tongue across Eiri's ear as he was laid down on the table. 

            "Sakano-san! Make them stop!!"

            Eiri cursed lowly at the heat Shuichi was causing by the attack on his ear. He pulled back and glared at the grinning, flushed boy.

            "Hey, guys. We're supposed to on stage…"

            "Don't do that!" Eiri growled dangerously. "Especially not in…" He twisted his head around to the group of Hiro, Suguru and Sakano that had gathered. "…public," he added feebly.

            Both men briskly pulled apart from one another and attempted at straightening themselves. Eiri cleared his throat and acted nonchalant. Shuichi, meanwhile, was fumbling to fix his attire and mellow down his tousled hair. 

            "Shindou-kun!!" Sakano wailed, thoroughly embarrassed at the spectacle he just witnessed. "You're supposed to be on stage!"

            "Ah, ah," Shuichi breathed. "So I am." He grinned. "What are we waiting here for, then? Let's go!"

            Sakano screeched wearily deep in his throat and fell to the ground. Hiro laughed heartily and began to walk to the stage, followed by an exasperated Suguru. 

            Shuichi finished straightening himself and looked to Eiri. A meek smile graced his lips. He waved and ran out of the room. After a few paces he spun around, calling out "I love you!!" to Eiri. He vaguely heard the writer call something back, but it was drowned out by the restless crowd.

**Author's Notes**: I wrote 5/6ths of that today. O_o; I'm exhausted. I hope it doesn't disappoint anyone… Remember to review!!! One more chapter left, boys and girls!


	3. Something's Got to Give

**Author's Notes**: Wow. *is in shock from all the wonderful reviews* I love you guys… You have no idea how touched I was by each and every review. *tears* Please enjoy this last chapter and continue to write wonderful reviews to feed my ego. ^_^

**Christmas is a Time…**

**Chapter 3: **

            Yuki Eiri trudged down the carpeted hallway to his apartment. He stumbled just the slightest and cursed. With cracking restraint he stopped and clenched his fists. 

            "Will you GET OFF?!" Eiri growled lowly. The arms around his waist tightened and a certain pink-haired singer snuggled more against his back.

            "No!" Shuichi cried desperately from behind the disgruntled writer. "I'm not letting go!"

            Eiri sighed. "Never?" he asked with just a hint of amusement. Shuichi raised an eyebrow at the sudden switch in emotions.

            "Never ever!" the boy responded, clinging tighter. "You're not leaving again!"

            The older man smirked. "But if you don't let go I can't make it the rest of the way to our apartment." Shuichi blushed at Eiri's choice in pronouns. "Which also means I won't be able to give you your Christmas present."

            The singer frowned in determination. "But, _you're_ my Christmas present!" he replied defiantly.

            "Yes," the novelist drawled, starting to loose his temper again, "but I have a surprise for you inside… Unless you don't want it…"

            Shuichi jerked, hastily pulling away. "I want it! I want it!!" he cried, running in front of Eiri and grabbing his hand. "Come on!!" he demanded as he pulled the older man down the hall. Eiri relinquished himself to a smile.

            The bubbling singer dragged Eiri to the door as quickly as he could. He began bouncing up and down as he frantically searched his coat pockets for his keys. "I got it," Eiri offered, pulling his set of keys out. Shuichi grinned in a mixture of delight and embarrassment. He began bobbing on his heels again as the older man unlocked the door. 

            "Close your eyes."

            Shuichi blinked. "Huh? Why?" he whined impatiently. Eiri blocked the boy's attempts at slipping inside. "Let me in!"

            "Not until you close your eyes," the author snapped. "I said I had a surprise for you, and I'll be dammed if I put myself in such an embarrassing situation for your dumb ass so you can just ruin it all. Now close your damn eyes, or I'm going back to Kyoto." Shuichi's mouth was instantly shut at the sudden outburst. He swallowed hard, feeling threatened. Nodding shakily, the boy closed his eyes. "Thank you," Eiri bit out less then nicely. 

            The pink-haired man was frowning slightly in frustration, impatience, and self-loathing for annoying Eiri after coming home to him. The frown instantly gave way, however, as he felt the warmth in the shape of a hand on the small of his back. He was lead gently forward into the apartment. He toed off his shoes blindly, leaning back against the blonde behind him for balance. 

            Shuichi took in a slow breath as he felt Eiri brush by him. He didn't make to move or ask if he could open his eyes yet. If the novelist had a surprise for him, then the boy swore to himself he'd be as obedient as possible. It was the least he could do.

            "Don't open your eyes yet," came Eiri's voice from farther ahead in the apartment. 

            _From the kitchen, Shuichi presumed._

            "I won't," the boy voiced compliantly. "You give the word." Eiri gave a little sound of distaste. Shuichi's heart dropped. Had he done something wrong? "Yuki…? What's wrong?"

            "Nothing," came the blinded reply. His voice was gruff. Shuichi tensed in the sharp tones in his lover's voice and the sharper silence that followed. "It's not your fault, so stop making that face," Eiri added through a sigh. A slow smile spread over the boy's lips.

            Shuichi's brow creased in confusion as he saw a faint glow of light from behind his eyelids. Another glow came next to it and the two melded into one. He rose one thin eyebrow as the scent of light smoke drifted passed his nostrils.

            "Okay," the writer called. "You can open your damn eyes now."

            The singer inhaled through his teeth and held it a moment. In a rush the breath left him. Violet eyes slowly began to appear underneath heavy lashes. They were open, yet glazed and unadjusted. A mere second passed before flushed cheeks accented shocked purple irises.

            Yuki Eiri stood behind the table in the kitchen where the two men ate their meals together. Only the moonlight from the balcony behind him and the two candles that adorned the table lit the room. The light flickered brilliantly off the stoic writer. Accompanying the dark red candles were two plates, two wine glasses, proper eating utensils, and a bottle of unopened red wine. On the kitchen counter sat a tray of ziti: Shuichi's favorite non-Japanese food.

            The tears had slipped down the younger man's face before he could ever blink. A moment later had him standing limply, still in the doorway, head hung. The tears continued their voyage as they dragged choked sobs with them. He clenched his fists tightly at his sides, trying to suppress the sobbing. He refused to let himself crumple on the floor and bury his face in his hands.

            "Hey." 

            Shuichi absent-mindedly wondered when Eiri had walked up to him.

            "Hey," the writer repeated in annoyance. "Why the hell are you crying, you idiot?"

            Shuichi sniffed and tried desperately to calm himself. "I'm sorry," he replied between quick sobs. He scrubbed quickly at his face to clean away the drying tears; thankfully no more followed. A few more sobs racked his frame. "Just… give me a second…" he breathed between the sharp jolts of his stomach. Shuichi pressed the heels of his hands against his burning eyes and inhaled a shuddering breath.

            Eiri shifted impatiently on his feet. His hands were stuffed in his pockets in an attempt to find a stance that proved he wasn't caring about the boy's tears – whether he did care or not was a different story. He eyed the fumbling boy carefully. Even though Eiri's face didn't show it, his heart was swelling with pride. It was, after all, his doing that made the boy so elated that he cried. Eiri paused in his thoughts. He was elated… right?

            "Those _are happy tears," the author questioned skeptically, "aren't they?" Shuichi giggled and lifted his face to the blonde. He smiled and nodded enthusiastically. Eiri mentally sagged with relief. "They better be." He pressed his index finger to the younger man's nose. "And if you tell anyone I did all this, I will not hesitate to kill you," he growled menacingly. Something told the singer that Eiri meant it, but Shuichi laughed anyway._

            "It's just…" The vocalist took a shaky step toward the glowing set-up. "It's just so sweet of you…" He could feel the tears prickle at the corner of his eyes again. His head was throbbing. "I never would have thought you had it in you, Yuki…" He reached back and laced fingers with his lover, never taking his eyes off the display. "This is wonderful…"

            Eiri silently thanked the fact that he was somewhat behind Shuichi, otherwise his blush might not have gone unnoticed. "It's no big deal," he offered casually. "You said you wanted a nice dinner and drinks and all. I figured I had to comply with what you wanted _some_what…" He could feel his chest getting tight. _God, this is so out of character for me…_ he groaned mentally. "I mean… you put up with me all the time… so…" He shifted his golden irises over to be met with Shuichi's own. The boy's eyes were pleading for the writer to finish his sentence. "Look, I just thought I owed you it." He shrugged his shoulders, trying to seem flippant. 

            True, the past ten months had broken Eiri down somewhat, but there were the times when he was trying to be the most outgoing that he was the most heartless. And Shuichi had slowly learned to accept that. _It's just the way he shows he cares…_ A smile was now playing on the younger man's lips.

            "Come on," Shuichi chirped. This was enough. This he could relish in. He pulled on Eiri's hand and made his way to the kitchen. "The ziti will be cold." He spun around and faced his lover. His eyes were dancing. "Did you make it yourself?"

            "Yeah." Eiri cocked an eyebrow. "So?"

            The singer took a step towards the older man. He leaned up and slipped his arms around Eiri's neck. He brushed feathery lips across the writer's own. "You're the best, love," Shuichi sighed against Eiri's lips. The latter shuddered softly.

            "It's just dinner," Eiri tried as coolly as possible. "I make dinner most of the time." His stomach was knotting at the way his mouth grazed over Shuichi's with each word.

            "But you've only made me ziti once." Shuichi kissed him again. "And we've never had dinner by candlelight." He kissed Eiri once, twice. "And this is our first Christmas together, to boot." He smiled against Eiri's lips. "It's more then I could have ever realistically hoped for."

            Eiri furrowed his brow. "'Realistically'?" He pulled his head back to glare at the boy. "What's that supposed to mean?" 

            Shuichi shook his head and smiled. "Nothing, nothing." He pulled away. He turned to the slightly burnt ziti. It dawned on him that it must have been what Eiri was upset about before. "I just know what to really want and what to just dream for, that's all."

            "So I'm not good enough for you, now?"

            Shuichi whipped his head back to his lover to rebut, however he stopped himself. Eiri was smiling down at him playfully. The boy's heart lifted. God, he loved that smile…

            "Hey, Yuki?" Shuichi murmured as the novelist came up behind him. 

            "Yeah?" Eiri reached in front of the vocalist and began to cut the ziti.

            "I love you," the younger man purred.

            "Shut up and eat your damn dinner."

            Shuichi watched as the wine poured in a shimmering stream into his glass. The half full wine-glass sloshed around playfully with each added drop. Shuichi smiled – Eiri had never let him near the writer's drinks before. 

Eiri pulled back the bottle and began to pour his own. After a moment of Shuichi still idly watching the wine flow, the blonde gently pressed the cork back into the bottle top and rested it on the coffee table. Eiri leaned back in the couch and moved to take a sip of his drink.

"Wait!" Shuichi whined, tugging lightly on the novelist's sleeve. Eiri cocked an eyebrow at him. "We need a toast, don't we?"

The older man sighed softly. "I guess," he muttered, turning slightly to the singer. 

Shuichi smiled adoringly. "To spending Christmas with the one I love," he hushed.

            Eiri clinked his glass to Shuichi's "Ditto," he added and took a sip.

            "Yuki," Shuichi gasped. Had he just said what Shuichi thought he said…? That was the second time that night Eiri had hinted at something like that… _Was it just a coincidence?_

            Shuichi let the unexpected remark drop. His heart was trembling too erratically to ask what the older man meant. For now he just rested himself against Eiri's side as the two sipped at their drinks. 

            The silence was becoming uncomfortable.  

"Hey," the vocalist began meekly, cringing slightly at the way his voice broke the quietness of the room. He swallowed and tried again. "Um… everything you did tonight…" Shuichi felt the blush quickly stain his cheeks. He occupied himself by staring deeply into his wine. "Was it all just because I asked you to?"

            Eiri let out an amused breath. He stared down at the pink head that was on his shoulder. "You said this is what you wanted for Christmas," he reminded, as if the boy had forgotten. 

            "I know, but… What I mean is…" Shuichi pulled back from his lover and hesitantly looked to his amber eyes. "Well, is it a bother to you?" he asked feebly. "Is it a pain for you to do all this?"

            Eiri scoffed. "You're constantly a pain."

            There was an unwelcome pang of guilt and disappointment that stabbed at the younger man's heart. He quickly adverted his gaze. He shifted himself away slightly and took a sip of wine.

 Eiri watched the boy's antics in bewilderment. Surely he wasn't reading the crestfallen expression on Shuichi's face falsely. He set down his glass and turned to the younger man. He pressed his hand against his lover's shoulder to turn the singer to face him. Shuichi complied, but never looked the blonde's way.

            "Look," the writer began as gently as possible without making it sound like he cared too much, "I wouldn't have come back if I didn't want to, ok? So stop worrying about it."

            Shuichi shook his head slowly. He held the wine glass to his chest. "But… but my present to you is nothing compared to all this…"

            Eiri's eyebrows rose. "All I'm doing is sitting here," he pointed out matter-of-factly.

            The pink-haired man swung his head to his partner. "But, this is how I've always dreamed to spend Christmas with you!" he cried. "One of those dreams that I put into the "it's never happening, get over it" category!" He clutched to his glass tighter. "This means the world to me!"

            Eiri let out a soft breath to help calm his pounding heart. He reached for the wine glass that was in danger of being shattered from how harshly the boy was gripping to it. He pulled it out of Shuichi's grasp. He placed the glass on the table next to his own. 

"Idiot…" Eiri mumbled lightly.

            "Oh, Yuki…" Now that Shuichi's hands weren't busy he reached out to his lover. Lithe fingers curled around the fabric of the writer's shirt. "I love you so much…"

            Eiri trailed a soft fingertip down the younger man's cheek. Shuichi shuddered just the slightest. "I know," the blonde breathed. 

            The lead singer of Bad Luck quickly hung his head. His hands rounded into little fists around Eiri's shirt. "Does it bother you when I say that?" he asked awkwardly. "Should I stop?"

            Eiri clucked his tongue almost inaudibly. He reached his fingers under his lover's chin and tugged the boy's head up to meet his own. "What's with you tonight?" he queried with a frown. "Since when do you care if you're bothering me or not?"    

            Shuichi's violet eyes were desperate. "It's just that you've done so much! And I never give you anything!" He could feel the tears swelling again. "Today has meant everything to me! Seeing you in that doorway…" The boy sobbed dryly. "God, I had never been so happy in my life… And I just feel like I'm such a bother to you; making you go through all this trouble…" His voice faded at the end. Shuichi's shoulders shook with suppressed sobs. He leaned his forehead on Eiri's shoulder for support.

            Eiri swallowed hard. All the emotions were swirling inside of him so fast he couldn't decipher each one. However, he did know that all of them were being caused by Shuichi, and that every single one made him shudder with delight. Eiri used to think it was the same feeling he had when he was sixteen. Then he began to realize that the way he felt for Shuichi wasn't the same as his sensei – it was stronger.

            "Look…" The writer cursed his innate "talent" at being ironically speechless in situations such as these. He ran feather-light fingertips up and down the boy's spine. "If… if I didn't want to come back - if I didn't miss you - I would have stayed, okay?" Shuichi's arms were around Eiri as he calmed. Eiri held the singer close. "I care about you, you idiot." Eiri relished in how Shuichi's hand instinctively gripped tighter.  "And I don't give a damn if you think the present you got for me isn't good enough, because you give me so much everyday, all right?" The blonde could barely even tell if he was actually speaking anymore. He found it hard to believe he was attempting to voice coherent thoughts when his heart was pounding so loudly in his ears. "Every stupid thing you say helps relieve me from my god damn editor. Every time I make fun of you it gets rid of some of my stress." He paused. This was the closest to romantic Eiri had ever gotten, and he was afraid to press the issue.  "And… well…"

            Shuichi sniffed, even though the tears never came and the shaking had long since passed. It was only his heart that was left quivering. He leaned back just the slightest to see his lover's face. "What…?" he prodded gently.

            Eiri considered turning his face away to hide his embarrassment, but realized that if he kept eye contact with the boy he would seem more casual. "You just…" His tight throat was strangling his voice. It was completely giving his emotions away.  "You make my life less dull…" he continued hesitantly, "and a little bit brighter, I guess." Eiri began to doubt himself. His plan was to tell Shuichi so much more then just this, but if he was having a hard time just saying simple things, then how would he ever get the whole truth out? He sighed and leaned his forehead against the vocalist's own. "And don't stop, you know… saying you love me, and all…" - he closed his eyes - "because it's actually kind of nice to hear sometimes."

            "Yuki…" Shuichi whispered almost incoherently. He sniffed and closed his eyes as well. 

            Minutes passed of chaste kisses and hands running through hair. More minutes ticked away as Shuichi snuggled up to Eiri shamelessly, and even more as Eiri pretended to mind, but really didn't. A little bit later and their wine glasses were emptied, along with seconds. And in all the time that passed neither said a word for there was no need. Eiri knew Shuichi loved him, and Shuichi now knew that Eiri cared. _And_, the writer vowed mentally, _tomorrow he'll learn more._

            Eiri glanced at his watch to read that it was a few minutes from eleven o'clock. He proposed that Shuichi and he finish decorating the tree before Christmas came. The pink-haired man was more then happy to oblige.

            The dressing of the tree was filled with casual touches that promised more and lips upon skin that ached for more. Shuichi would flirtatiously bend for ornaments, or reach so that his shirt would ride up. Eiri would brush behind the boy just close enough and occasionally dance his fingers on Shuichi's stomach or sides. Shuichi would nuzzle himself against the writer when he least expected it, and Eiri would graze his lips across the singer's cheeks or temples in return. By the time the decorations had been finished Shuichi was leaning back against the older man and his head tossed to one side. Eiri was lightly running his fingertips up and down the pink-haired man's sides as he kissed down Shuichi's jaw and throat, causing the younger to whimper softly.

            "Hey," Eiri mumbled against his lover's neck as he checked his watch. "It's late. Don't you want to go to bed before midnight?"

            Shuichi sighed lazily. "What time is it?" he asked with a tinge of disappointment. 

            "Eleven thirty-ish."

            "Aw, Yuki," the singer whined softly, turning in Eiri's arms. "But we have a half hour…"

            Eiri leaned down and brushed his lips against Shuichi's. Both men shuddered the slightest. "I said go to bed," he murmured against the younger man's lips, "not go to sleep."

            Eiri was lying on his side, propped up on one elbow. Shuichi was facing him, also on his side, hands curled under his pillow. The younger man smiled sleepily and closed his eyes as his lover trailed feather-light fingertips up and down Shuichi's side. The sheets just barely covered them from the waist down, which didn't help the fact that the singer was getting goose-bumps. 

            "So," Eiri drawled lowly, "did you get everything you listed from me?"

            Shuichi's tired smile spread as he nuzzled himself into his pillow. "Almost," he purred.

            The novelist cocked a curious eyebrow. "Almost?" he questioned crossly. "What do you mean, almost?"           

            "Well," the pink-haired man giggled softly, "I didn't really get the last thing on my list."

            Eiri frowned. "Oh, and what' tha—" The writer cut himself short as he realized to what his lover was referring: having Eiri submissively. He growled. "You know damn well I wasn't gonna do that, you moron."

            Shuichi slowly peeked open one violet eye. "I know." He yawned tiredly. "I know…" He closed his eyes again. "But I was just hopeful…"

            Eiri's fingers paused in their dance on the younger man's side. "And that's in the 'possible' dreaming category?" He scoffed. "I think you need to reorganize what goes on up there." He tapped the vocalist on the temple for good measure. "There's no way in hell I'd ever—" Eiri halted in his tirade as Shuichi began to sit up in bed.

            "Never ever…?" the singer questioned huskily. He leaned forward on his arms, violet irises glazed and searching. "You'd _never_ let me…?" 

            Eiri gulped at the way Shuichi could go to a melting pile of goop on a pillow, to a lustful temptress in only a matter of seconds. His voice alone was dripping with sex appeal. 

_And his head's doing that tilting to one side thing that he always does when he's turned on… And those lustful eyes… And, God, his breath is tickling my face… Wait… No, no, no, what is he doing? He's not doing what I think he's doing, is he? No, Shu-chan don't you—AHH!!!      _

Eiri jerked backwards quickly, hands instinctively flying to his offended ear. His cheeks were flushed bright red and his breathing was erratic. He glared at his smirking lover with wide eyes. The sheets just barely kept him covered, forming a tent between his legs from a certain "love bite" - as Shuichi liked to call them.

"Good night, love," the devious singer cooed. He turned over so his back was facing Eiri and snuggled down into his bed. The clock caught his eye. It read 12:02 AM. "Oh," he began again, sitting up. He turned back to kiss a tense Yuki Eiri on the lips. He mouthed the words "Merry Christmas" against the fumbling writer's lips.

            Shuichi bounced up and down in his seat at the kitchen table. In front of him lay his empty plate, where a mere minute ago laid three pancakes. Eiri's eyes were downcast to his own plate, which still had one pancake left. Where as Shuichi had inhaled his food in an attempt to hurry things along, Eiri was taking his dear sweet time, which was probably on purpose. The writer's amber irises never left his plate, even as he saw his bouncing lover out of his peripheral vision. He had been trying to ignore the energetic boy, but was beginning to loose patience.

            "Bouncing like that isn't going to get me to finish any faster," Eiri pointed out, eyes finally lifting to Shuichi's own. The blonde pushed a forkful of pancakes into his mouth for good measure. "Besides," he continued once he had swallowed, "there's still three more left." He poked at the aforementioned pancakes with his fork. "You don't want anymore?"

            Shuichi desperately tried to stop wriggling in his seat, but only wound up moving more. "I'm too frantic to eat anymore!!" he whined. "C'mon, Yuki!! You're being slow on purpose!!" He absent-mindedly drummed his fingers across the table top in an erratic rhythm. "Can I _please_ give you your present now?!"

            Eiri cocked a curious eyebrow as he swallowed down another bite. "I thought you didn't want to give it to me because it wasn't good enough?" the writer questioned pointedly.

            "I never said that!" Shuichi squealed; his face was appalled. "I _want to give it to you either way! Even if it can't beat what you gave me!"_

            The novelist shook his head back to throw stray golden bangs out of his eyes. He smirked softly. "You didn't even get your last present from me, yet." His grin widened as his lover's face turned to one of shock. "Would you like it first? Or do you want to give me mine, and then I'll give you yours?"

            The vocalist's astonished face soon drooped. He sagged in his chair and let his eyes fall into his lap. "You didn't tell me you got me something…"

            Eiri blinked, taken aback. "Is that a problem?"

            "Well, now I feel even worse…" Shuichi sighed softly. "I would have gotten you something so much better then what I did had I known…"

            The usually aloof writer felt his heart sink in his chest. Oh, how he hated it when those sad violet eyes were because of him… He suddenly found it difficult to breathe.

            "Hey," Eiri managed out slowly, "how about this?" Shuichi's head perked up. "Why don't you give me the present you got for me, and if it's up to my standards, I'll give you the one I got you." A warm smile graced the author's lips. "Okay?"

            Shuichi was beaming and at Eiri's side in an instant. "Okay!" he chirped, grabbing the blonde's hand. "C'mon! Come to the tree!!" He dragged the older man to the tree that was decorated the way only two lover's with their minds on other things knew how. "Sit, sit!" Shuichi commanded, forcing Eiri down in Indian-style. "I'll be right back!" He dashed down the hallway, passed the long forgotten pancakes. "Close your eyes!!" he called from somewhere inside the bedroom, Eiri presumed. The writer complied. 

            Eiri leaned back on his arms, assuming that the search for the present was going to take a while. Shindou Shuichi was not the most organized man a live. The blonde yawned quietly. He considered timing the boy, that way he could rub it in Shuichi's face, but just as he was about to start his mental stopwatch, Shuichi came running back into the room.

Eiri raised surprised eyebrows, but kept his eyes closed. Shuichi plopped down on the carpet in front of the older man. The novelist leaned forward off his arms. He gave Shuichi his best "Well…?" look, considering the fact that his eyes were shut. The boy giggled.

"Okay," he began hesitantly, "you can open them."

Eiri slowly cracked open amber eyes. His lover was staring back at him bashfully. His eyes traveled downwards to find the gift that rested in the younger man's hands. It was a ring box. Eiri's lips parted just the slightest in surprise.

"When I bought it I thought it would be perfect for you…" Shuichi's voice was hushed. Eiri's eye swooped back up to see the singer looking down in embarrassment. "I just feel like I should have gotten you something else, too, ya know?"

"Hey." Eiri leaned forward and slipped one hand in pink locks. "I already told you…" he whispered against Shuichi's forehead, "you give me so much everyday." He closed his eyes, trying to calm his pounding heart. "Besides, being with you last night was a present to me, too."

Shuichi's eyes widened for just a moment and then closed peacefully. A languid smile spread his lips. He leaned up and brushed his mouth against Eiri's, who responded back the same. Shuichi's eyes opened softly. They were nose to nose.

"Merry Christmas, love," the pink-haired man wished lowly. He pressed the gift into Eiri's hands. The writer took it gladly.

Eiri pulled back from Shuichi and stared down at the present thoughtfully. He pursued his lips and reached out for one of the flaps of wrapping paper that was taped down. He yanked off the paper adorned with teddy-bears holding drums and holly around their feet. A black velvet ring box appeared underneath the furls of paper. Eiri pushed the neatly opened wrapping paper aside. He was uncharacteristically gentle about it. The vision of Shuichi sitting on the floor, trying to wrap Eiri's Christmas present was just too endearing. He could imagine a piece of scotch-tape hanging from the boy's lips as he pouted in frustration when the paper didn't sit just right. A smile graced the writer's lips.

Eiri pulled one hand out from under the box, trying to rid himself of such an adorable mental image. He reached out and ever-so-slowly lifted the lid to the ring box. He gasped in shock.

Shuichi gulped, hands tightening in his lap. His eyes skittered nervously from Eiri's face, to the box in his hands, from Eiri's face, to the box in his hands, from Eiri's face… He clenched his jaw tightly. He could feel his stomach clamping up. Was that a good gasp? or a horrified one? Shuichi gulped again.

There in Eiri's hands lay a box with an all-too-familiar ring. It was a golden band that tapered around the underneath, and there in the middle sat an emerald-cut yellow sapphire, with two miniscule diamonds on either side. Eiri could have sworn his heart had stopped. An inscription on the inside of the ring caught his eye: "To the one I'll always love ~Your Shu-chan".

Shuichi could feel his cheeks burning in embarrassment. He flew his hands up to cover his face and squeaked. "I'm sorry!" he wailed. "I thought it was too girly for you, but I just thought it would look so nice on you!! I know it's stupid and cheesy, but I just really though that--!!"

"Will you put it on me?"

Shuichi blinked. He looked up from his hands, eyes curious. "What?" he choked.

"Will you put it on me?" Eiri queried again. He pulled the ring out of the box with his right hand. He pushed it towards Shuichi. "Will you?"

The singer made a small sound of protest. "B-but!" he cried, finally regaining control of his voice. "If you hate it, I can just return it!! You don't have to pretend you like it for me!"

"Pretend?" Eiri's smile was warmer then Shuichi had ever seen. "This is me we're talking about here. You know I wouldn't do that." The writer's eyes traveled back down to the ring that rested in between his fingertips. His heart was pounding. _What a coincidence… He made eye contact with Shuichi again. "Put it on me."_

The vocalist took in a slow breath. He reached out a shaky hand and plucked the ring from his lover's fingers. He looked back and forth at Eiri's hands, as if wondering which one to put the ring on. To answer his silent question the blonde reached out his left hand. Shuichi blushed. He had measured the size of Eiri's ring finger when he bought it… But if Eiri put it on his left hand, it would look like…

Shuichi's stomach knotted in surprise as Eiri leaned forward and pressed his lips against the younger man's ear. "Put it on," he whispered huskily. Shuichi could have sworn he was melting.

Eiri closed his eyes as he felt the cool metal of the ring be pushed down his finger. He kissed Shuichi's temple and cheeks as the ring slid past his first knuckle. Once the ring had gone down over his second knuckle, Eiri slipped his fingers in between his lover's own. Shuichi's hand tightened around his. Eiri grazed his lips down the side of the boy's flushed face to hover over his quivering lips. 

"Thank you," the older man sighed over Shuichi's mouth. He kissed him lightly. "Do you want your present now?" he asked between kisses. Shuichi bit his lip and looked away. "Hey." Eiri squeezed the hand laced with the younger man's tighter. He reached his free hand under Shuichi's chin and turned him to look at the writer. "Trust me." Eiri pecked him on the lips again. "You'll love it."

Shuichi's eyes followed Eiri's actions closely. The older man reached into the pocket of his robe and pulled out a very familiar box. Shuichi blinked. _Wait a second…_ Eiri pressed the box into the pink-haired man's hands. "Here," he offered softly.

The vocalist let out a shaky breath. He pushed his thumbs underneath the tabs of the plaid red and green wrapping paper and pushed up. He couldn't help but smile. The image of his Yuki going Christmas shopping for him and even wrapping it was just too endearing. The fact that they had managed to both buy each other rings was even more heartwarming.

Shuichi laid the wrapping paper down next to where Eiri had left his. The same black velvet box was in the singer's hands. Shuichi puckered his lips in confusion. He was urged by Eiri to open it. The younger man promptly stuck his tongue out at his older lover. Eiri slanted his eyes and grabbed the boy's tongue, causing Shuichi to squeak. The writer reached down with his free hand and opened the box. He let his grip go on the pink-haired man's tongue and sat back. Shuichi turned his gaze to the now open box in his hand. He gasped in shock.

Shuichi stared at the present in his hands, eye impossibly wide. The ring he had bought Eiri was staring back at him with only one change: there was a pink sapphire, not a yellow one. His heart pounded so hard he never even noticed it when the blonde had sat himself behind Shuichi. 

"Quite a coincidence, isn't it?" Eiri breathed against his lover's neck. Shuichi closed his eyes and let out a shuddering breath. He nodded the slightest. Eiri pressed his lips to the singer's ear. "Read the inscription."

Shuichi slowly opened his eyes and felt that tears were beginning to prickle in their corners. He lifted the ring out of it's box and laid the velvet holder down. He twirled the ring in his fingers for a moment, letting the light dance off the stone. He smiled warmly. The engraved message was finally noticed. It read: "A promise ~ 'Yuki'"

            "'A promise'?" Shuichi read aloud. He cocked his head back a bit to the man behind him. "A promise of what?"

            Eiri wrapped his arms around the vocalist's waist and nuzzled his head between the younger man's shoulder and neck. His chest was growing tighter by the second. He closed his eyes. _Come on, Eiri, you can do this…_ "A promise that… no matter how many mean things I say to you…" He paused and opened his eyes. He watched as Shuichi's fingers curled around the ring in anticipation. His heart thudded louder. "No matter how many times I tell you to get out…" he continued, "You can just look down at that ring and remember that… I'll… I'll always…" Eiri took a shallow breath. _Just three words… Just three words, Eiri! _His hands were shaking. "…I'll love you…"

            Shuichi's stomach gave him a small jolt and the tears broke past his tightly shut eyes. He sobbed and bit down on his bottom lip. He brought the fisted hands that held the ring up to his face to ball in front of his mouth. His shoulders shook with suppressed sobbing. 

            "Stop crying, you idiot," Eiri hushed gently, moving himself to sit facing Shuichi's side. The boy promptly curled himself in Eiri's arms. The writer smiled. "So, I think our presents are equally matched, aren't they?" he cooed in amusement.

            Shuichi sniffled and shook his head, still clinging to the ring. "It may be the same ring… but… Oh, Yuki!" the singer cried. "I thought you'd never say it!!" he buried his face in the older man's shoulder. 

            "So, you're saying that it's the same rings," Eiri continued, wrapping his arms around the younger man, "but the meaning behind them is different." Shuichi answered with another soft sob and a nod. Eiri clucked his tongue. "But your ring says that you love me." He lifted his left hand to admire the aforementioned piece of jewelry. His heart swelled. God how good it felt to tell Shuichi he loved him and to have these rings to show for it. "And my ring says that I promise to always feel that way for you." He looked down at the pink head that was curled against his shoulder. "So what's the difference?"

            Shuichi sniffed and raised his head. The tears had paused. He blinked in confusion. "Well… I say it to you everyday… and you've never told me before so—"

            "Stop trying to make excuses, you moron." Eiri leaned forward and pressed his lips to Shuichi who instantly succumbed. "A ring is a ring," he muttered against the vocalist's lips. Shuichi shuddered. "We're even." The younger man nodded and leaned up to kiss Eiri.

            Shuichi was curled up in Eiri's lap as the older man slid the ring onto his left ring finger. Shuichi couldn't help but blush. Never in his life had he felt so complete. Here he sat, in the arms of the man he loved and that loved him back, wearing matching rings. The tears began to swell again. Shuichi closed his eyes and sighed dreamily, letting the tears fall peacefully as they wished. He nuzzled closer to Eiri's warmth, a lazy smile on his lips.

            "Merry Christmas, love," Shuichi purred softly.

            Eiri smiled and kissed the top of the younger man's pink head. "Merry Christmas, Uesugi Shuichi." He felt the boy freeze in his arms. "If that's all right with you," he added on a quiet laugh.

            Shuichi jerked back, staring at Eiri with wide violet eyes and his mouth agape. His cheeks were bright red. He moved his mouth to speak but all that came out were small choked sounds. Eiri chuckled lowly at the fumbling boy. 

            "Are you," Shuichi managed, finally getting his voice back, "_serious?!" he squawked. _

            Eiri smirked, looking down his nose at Shuichi. "I am." He raised and eyebrow. "Do you have a problem with that?"

            Shuichi glared at his lover with harsh eyes. "Are you just screwing with me?" he growled. "There's no way you're serious. I mean… first we have candlelight dinner, and then wine… And then you let me cuddle with you after we made love… And then…" Shuichi looked down, trying to count everything off on his fingers. "And you told me you love me! And you gave me the ring!!" He swung his head back up. His eyes were still determined, but Eiri caught the flicker hope in the violet irises. "Are you really considering…?"

            Eiri let out a patient breath. He watched the boy for a minute. "Are you done?" he asked slowly, "or would you like to ramble some more?"

            Shuichi clamped his mouth shut in an exaggerated manner to prove to Eiri he was finished. The writer grinned.

            "Good." He reached his hand forward and brushed his fingertips across Shuichi's pink cheeks. "Now…" he began huskily, bringing his forehead to rest against the younger man's own. "Would considering these rings to be wedding rings be bad - is that what you're telling me?"

            Shuichi's eyes widened. The tears were blurring his vision. "You're really serious?" he choked out through a strangled sob.

            "Yes." 

            A moment of silence passed of the two men forehead to forehead and arms wrapped around one another. Shuichi sobbed quietly and Eiri sighed softly, both of them with their eyes closed. 

            "Can I really take your last name?" Shuichi whimpered between sobs as the tears streamed down his face.

            "Yeah." Eiri leaned up and kissed the boy on the nose.

            "But we won't be even then," the singer joked as his shoulders shook.

            "Shut up." Eiri lightly nipped the tip of Shuichi's nose causing him to yelp.

            Shuichi opened his eyes and leaned back to complain but was cut off at the site of the man before him. Eiri was smiling down, flushed cheeks, golden eyes trembling, thin trails of tears trailing down his face.

            "Yuki…!" the singer gasped.

            "I said shut up," Eiri whispered through his teary smile.

            The writer leaned in and pressed his mouth over Shuichi's own. Their hands intertwined, metal rings resting against each other. 

**Author's Notes**: I woke up this morning (Christmas Eve), and after a little while I realized that it was the 24th. So I'm like, "oh, I should wrap those presents that are sitting in the corner of my room for everyone to see." o_o; That's when I realized I hadn't finished chapter 3 of this story. I have been sitting here for 11 hours with insane writer's block. This is why procrastination is bad, boys and girls. ^_^;;

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, EVERYONE!! XD


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